AIR ā POCKET SYMPHONY (Astralwerks)
What I loved so much about this French duo when they debuted nearly a decade ago was that they managed to perfectly mix a soft and sultry sound with funky and soulful sensibilities. Unfortunately, it feels like every album since Moon Safari has lost a little bit of its funk, and Pocket Symphony is void of it almost entirely. Of course, their signature airy (no pun intended) sound is still there, but this album lacks the soul of its predecessors, and can easily be categorized as ājust another Air albumā. Is that a bad thing? Not necessarily. But I was just hoping for something a bit more; something I could love and not just like.
RATING: THREE STARS
ARMY OF ME ā CITIZEN (Doghouse Records)
The opening track of this album, āPerfectā, contains the following lyrics: āOne day Iāll be perfect / Iāll be so extraordinary / I will shine / I will radiate.ā Iād like to take this opportunity to let the band in on a little secret: No, you wonāt be.
RATING: ONE STAR
JOHNNY CASH ā CASH | ULTIMATE GOSPEL (Sony)
Iām torn: I love Johnny Cash, but Iām also a proud-as-fuck, card-carrying atheist. So while I do dig most of the two-dozen songs collected here (particularly ā(Thereāll Be) Peace In The Valley (For Me)ā, āOh Come, Angel Bandā, and āAmazing Graceā), I also find it hard to not roll my eyes at some of the moreā¦ I donāt know... Jesus-loving tunes (like the opening track āHere Was A Manā). So, yeah, the CD is good, but I prefer my Johnny Cash with a bit more piss and vinegar, a loaded firearm, and a bottle of booze.
RATING: THREE STARS
K-OS ā ATLANTIS: HYMNS FOR DISCO (Virgin Records)
I have to claim ignorance when it comes to K-os. He was always one of those artists I knew of, but hadnāt really heard much from. Now I gotta find a time machine and kick myself in the ass for not paying attention sooner, because this is one of the most beautiful and well-produced hip-hop albums to come out in a long time. Mixing rap and hip-hop with near classical sensibilities, K-os manages to do the one thing that so many hip-hop artists of today fail to achieve: something brand-new. Definitely high on my list for the best of 2007 so far. Every track is great, but be sure to keep an ear open for the Buck 65-backed track āThe Ballad Of Noahā.
RATING: FIVE STARS
Right up there with classic soundtracks like Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Natural Born Killers, this soundtrack of seventeen tracks features an amazing array of talent. From The Black Keys to John Doe to R.L. Burnside, this dirty blues compilation is exactly what youād hear blaring in some dive bar buried deep within the bayou. With additional performances from Son House and Jessie Mae Hemphill, how could this disc possibly get better? Iāll tell you how: with four additional tracks as grunted out by the bad motherfucker himself, Samuel L. Jackson. All of Jacksonās tracks are surprisingly good, but his final track, āStackoleeā, is the absolute true gem of the entire album.
RATING: FOUR STARS
DVDS:
FATS & FRIENDS (Time Life)
Shot over twenty years ago (way back in the stone age year of 1986), this video captures three piano greatsāFats Domino, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Ray Charlesāas they share the stage one evening in the intimate Storyville Nightclub in New Orleans. In addition to the three greats, Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood backs the trio up onstage. As does the barely-humanlike Paul Shaffer. Yippee. To me, the shining moments of this film are seeing Fats and Ray pound away on the keys for a few songs. However, Iāve never been a fan of Jerry Lee Lewis, I fucking loathe Paul Shaffer (who annoyingly narrates and interviews each talent while dressed like an Eighties porn star), and the faked club noise that they dub in over the music is about as bad as canned laughter on a sitcom. But if youāre a fan of this trio of talentāand Paul Shaffer (?)āyou may wanna pick it up. As far as Iām concerned, one viewing was enough.
RATING: TWO STARS
HACKING DEMOCRACY (Docurama)
Wanna get more pissed off at the fucked-up state of corporate America and how itās the governmentās prison bitch? Then watch this documentary. Seattle grandma and pro-truth advocate Bev Harris takes it upon herself to find out what the fuck is exactly going on with the American voting system. If you really need to have it explained to you, itās corrupt as fuck. Going after the organized crime syndicate known as Diebold, Hacking Democracy is truly non-partisan, pointing the finger at both Democrats and Republican, depending on which region the voting is taking place. In short, if you want to know why your vote doesnāt countāas well as how to take steps to ensure that it will count in the future-- check this out.
RATING: FOUR STARS
ADRIANNE LENKER ā LIVE AT THE SOUTHERN (Lucid Tunes)
Who is Adrianne Lenker? Good question. Hereās a better question: why did someone think it was a good idea to give this fourteen-year-old singer/songwriter a DVD/CD combo release, especially when no one has ever heard of her? Could it be her tritely hushed lyrics and average guitar playing? Nope. How about the similarity in sound between her and other female singer/songwriters-- most of whom have faded away over the years-- like Jewel and Joan Osbourne? Nah. Is it her ripped jeans and the fact that sheās not wearing shoes? No. What about her awkward stage presence and banter with the twelve people that actually came to her show? Nuh-uh. How about the fact that sheās a cute white girl who wears tight t-shirts and jeans, and is obviously exploding into womanhood? Bingo! Donāt get me wrong, she can play music better than I can, but so can most of the retarded kids my mother teaches on a daily basis. But are her skills really worthy of a DVD/CD set? Hell no. So, if youāre looking for something good and new, go elsewhere. However, I do suggest this release to all of our pedophilic readers who are looking for some new stroke material. You know who you areā¦ Jocco.
RATING: ONE STAR
THE MAXWELL MULTIPLE CLIMAX (Dammit Jim Pictures)
Iām no slouch in the sack (or at least thatās what my mother always told me), but Iāll still take any helpful advice that comes my way. Enter: The Maxwell Multiple Climax, a thirty-minute self-help film that leads the way toward multiple male orgasm. Fuckingā¦ awesome. Shot and produced entirely tongue-in-cheek-- almost in the style of blaxploitation (sans black people, of course)-- MMC never takes itself too seriously. Still, itās far from a gag video. The method does supposedly work, though it may take up to months to master. Having just watched it last night, I havenāt had the chance to test the theory yet. However, I will be trying it out. (What sane man wouldnāt?) The basic idea behind it is that orgasms donāt necessarily always lead to ejaculation, and that a man can have an orgasmānay, hundreds of orgasmsāwithout actually coming. Amazing. Now I can have an orgasm anywhere without having to worry about the cleanup. Look out world, here I come. Ba-dum-bum.
RATING: FOUR STARS
NOISY NORAā¦ AND MORE STORIES ABOUT MISCHIEF (Scholastic Video Collection)
I donāt have any kids yet, but some day some lucky lady will be fortunate enough to have my seed planted inside of her. I know, Iām a hopeless romantic. Anyway, Scholastic has been sending me these DVD collections of childrenās stories for a couple years now, and each one of them proves to be good enough for me to hold onto for the day my offspring comes into the world. Of course, DVDs will probably be obsolete by then, but whatever. This DVD collects five stories, the first of which is Noisy Nora from Rosemary Wells, which is a book I do remember reading as a kid. And while I hold a certain amount of nostalgia for the story, itās the weakest one of the bunch. Far better is the tale of a bummed-out clown and a homeless dog he befriends (John Burninghamās Cannonball), or the story of two victims of bullies (i.e. nerds) who find a pair of motorcycle goggles (Ezra Jack Keatsā Goggles). But my favorite story on the discāand the best illustratedāis the tale of a not-so-terrible Tyrannosaurus rex (Peter McCartyās T Is For Terrible). There is also a bonus story thrown in: Jules Feifferās Munro. In all, pretty entertaining to a thirty-year-old man who has a rock where his heart should be. Now if I could just find a babyās mama to give me a little Chinsang to watch āem with. Ladies, you know how to reach me.
RATING: THREE STARS
Comments