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WAYNE'S BLOG
TLC LOVES SPRAYGRAPHIC.COM!
2006-12-05 18:56:10

The kind folks at Spraygraphic Apparel gave TLC a nice little shout-out on their blog site. You can check it out for yourself by clicking here.

But don't stop there!

Spraygraphic is not only responsible for some sweet-ass human cover-up devices (A.K.A. clothes and gear), but also for being supportive of both artists and the arts. Support those who are doing truly unique stuff. People like Spraygraphic. Learn more about them and their products by clicking here.

Special thanks to Chuck, Matt, and Erin for sending it along.

More comin' at ya later this week!

Word.

- Wayne, TLC

I JUST THREW UP IN MY MOUTH... A LOT.
2006-11-29 18:22:38

I hope you folks are sitting down for this one, because I'm still beside myself in amazement.

Ready? Here we go: the cum dumpster (or "cumpster", as I like to call her) known as Britney Spears flashed her sloppy crotch bologna to a photographer yesterday, which essentially means she now has shown it to the entire world.

If you haven't already seen it (which I'm hoping you haven't for the sake of our site's traffic) you can check out the train wreck of meaty flesh for yourself above.

Now, if you know anything about this site you know that we typically don't talk about "people" like Britney Spears or her fellow brand of retards, like Paris Hilton, Mr. Drummond from Different Strokes, or that goofy Klan neighbor Jerry had on Seinfeld. Of course, from time to time we have been known to write terribly offensive things about them when they do something stupid, like when Tara Reid's hideously deformed Frankentit fell out of her shirt while she was on the red carpet. But since these morons do dumb shit so often, there simply isn't enough time in a day for us to make fun of all of them.

Which brings me to Britney Spears' pussy.

Ah! Gross! Shit, let me rephrase that, please!

Which brings me to the topic of Britney Spears' pussy.

Man, that really was not that much better. One more time....

Which is why I'm now going to discuss that shaved liverwurst-looking area just below Britney Spears' belly button, and approximately sixteen to eighteen inches above her two knees.

Much, much better.

My point is this: in addition to this topic being far too easy to make fun of (look for examples just above this sentence), does it really come as a big shock to anyone that ol' Britney would show her taint-n-love to the world someday, be it on "accident" to the paparazi or through a Pay Per View special called Brit's Clit: The Monster Behind The Meat Curtain? Am I the only one here that read this "news" and said, "You mean there's a human left on this planet who hasn't seen it in person yet?"

What's next? Is there going to be a headline in tomorrow's paper about there not being weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Or how about a story on the news reporting on how Elton John is gay? Or what about a long, four-hour special on 60 Minutes about how I was supposed to be voted Sexiest Man Alive by People, but George Clooney and I are old friends, and I didn't want to upset the old man.

These are things everyone already knows! So why does all media-- from Rosie O'Donnell, MSNBC.com, and this very site that you're reading right now-- feel the need to talk about it?!?

Let's hear some truly shocking news! How about Bob Saget's rumored sex tape with talk show host Montel Williams? Or what about the rumor that washed-up (and never funny) comedian Richard Lewis ate a Malaysian baby last Hannukah? Or the fact that National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice is actually ex-NBA star Manute Bol in drag?

Where are these stories?!? Why are they constantly covered up?!? And who can we trust to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, Ruth?!?

Right here at TLChicken.com, my friends. Only right here.

See, that's the service we provide for you, folks: honesty. We aren't going to get caught up in all the fluffy bullshit non-news of the world. We only go after the real shit here, never even pausing for the irrelevant. That is our promise to you.

Hey, while I've got your attention, take a look at that close-up on Britney's vag that I put in the circle there. Is it just me, or does she need a serious wiping down there? Gross! She nasty!

High-five, girlfriends!

Word.

- Wayne, TLC

THAT ABOUT SAYS IT ALL...
2006-11-28 17:22:48
Now, time for a nap.

Word.

- Wayne, TLC
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