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22 December 2023
TRUE STORIES OF HEROES' BRAVE BATTLES
BRAVE SOUL OF JUNE 2001: JOHN MOSS
Rain season is upon us, and with it, thunderstorms. This month our brave survivor knows a thing or two about lightning. We traveled out to Lowell, Kansas to talk with John Moss. Moss has been hit by lightning a record-breaking 56 times. He also believes it will happen again. We just hoped not during the interview.
darby: I’ve heard a lot of tales in my time, but this one is really impressive. 56 times? Ouch!
John: Tell me about it. It definitely has a downside.
d: Like what?
J: Well, after number 24 I got a really hot girlfriend. I was in my late teens and knew we were well on our way to doing "it". I was looking forward to my first piece of ass, but it came with a price.
d: What price?
J: After years of getting filled up with all that voltage, it was just coursing through my body. It ended up changing me physically.
d: Physically how?
J: My girlfriend Janet had something happen to her when we had sex.
d: What happened?
J: With all that electricity running through my system, it acted as a sort of,.. electrolysis.
d: Electrolysis? What are you saying?
J: All of her hair fell out.
d: Good God! Did she leave you?
J: No. We got married nine years ago.
d: That’s sweet.
J: It’s not all bad. There are positive things too.
d: Like what?
J: One time my car battery died out in the middle of nowhere. I thought of using jumper cables to start the car.
d: Are you trying to tell me you started a car with the electricity in your body?
J: Yeah. I just attached one end of the jumper cables to the battery and the other end to my nipples.
d: Your what?!?
J: Nipples.
d: Okay. We’re done!
J: Why?
d: I’d like to apologize to our readers. This guy is clearly insane. He started his car with his nipples?!? I can’t believe we’re printing this crap!
IF YOU HAVE A FEAT OF BRAVERY YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, EMAIL DARBY AT DARBY@TLCHICKEN.COM
BRAVE SOUL OF JUNE 2001: JOHN MOSS
Rain season is upon us, and with it, thunderstorms. This month our brave survivor knows a thing or two about lightning. We traveled out to Lowell, Kansas to talk with John Moss. Moss has been hit by lightning a record-breaking 56 times. He also believes it will happen again. We just hoped not during the interview.
darby: I’ve heard a lot of tales in my time, but this one is really impressive. 56 times? Ouch!
John: Tell me about it. It definitely has a downside.
d: Like what?
J: Well, after number 24 I got a really hot girlfriend. I was in my late teens and knew we were well on our way to doing "it". I was looking forward to my first piece of ass, but it came with a price.
d: What price?
J: After years of getting filled up with all that voltage, it was just coursing through my body. It ended up changing me physically.
d: Physically how?
J: My girlfriend Janet had something happen to her when we had sex.
d: What happened?
J: With all that electricity running through my system, it acted as a sort of,.. electrolysis.
d: Electrolysis? What are you saying?
J: All of her hair fell out.
d: Good God! Did she leave you?
J: No. We got married nine years ago.
d: That’s sweet.
J: It’s not all bad. There are positive things too.
d: Like what?
J: One time my car battery died out in the middle of nowhere. I thought of using jumper cables to start the car.
d: Are you trying to tell me you started a car with the electricity in your body?
J: Yeah. I just attached one end of the jumper cables to the battery and the other end to my nipples.
d: Your what?!?
J: Nipples.
d: Okay. We’re done!
J: Why?
d: I’d like to apologize to our readers. This guy is clearly insane. He started his car with his nipples?!? I can’t believe we’re printing this crap!
IF YOU HAVE A FEAT OF BRAVERY YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, EMAIL DARBY AT DARBY@TLCHICKEN.COM
artid
266
Old Image
3_10_fob.swf
issue
vol 3 - issue 10 (jun 2001)
section
stories