FREAK FILMS: WILD ZERO

If you’re unfamiliar with Guitar Wolf (the band), Guitar Wolf (the guy) and fellow bandmates Bass Wolf and Drum Wolf (I’m not kidding), you wouldn’t know that they are Japan’s answer to the Ramones. In fact, they may actually be clones. Simply put, they are rock ‘n’ roll. Despite crap like the Beatles’ Help!, the Monkees’ Head and Spice World, the movie industry is convinced that nobody can make a film like a lobotomized pop star. However, no band has ever made a film like Wild Zero either. Director Tetsuro Takeuchi whipped up one of the best rock flicks I’ve ever seen by sticking to the four basic food groups: sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll and zombies. I would like to add that the phrase “one of the best rock flicks” doesn’t say a whole helluva lot (you did see Cool As Ice, didn’t you?), as plot was not one of the food groups he employed, nor was acting or budget. But the film definitely bears inspection. Ace (Masashi Endo) loves Guitar Wolf like Robert Blake loves a tall glass of water. Unfortunately, he’s not sure he has what it takes to be nearly as cool as they are (yeah, okay, he’s an idiot loser). However, when he interrupts a Mexican standoff between the band and the evil hot-pants-wearing club owner, The Captain (no, not the “Muskrat Love” guy), he nearly gets killed defending rock ‘n’ roll. Guitar Wolf makes him an honorary Guitar Wolf and gives him a special whistle for summoning the band when he’s in trouble. Suddenly, UFOs land and zombies start wandering around just when Ace falls in love with Tobio (City Chai), and he has to muster up all the courage he can to help save the world and his new love. The best part of the movie is when Ace discovers Tobio is actually a boy. The whisky-swilling, pill-popping, roughneck rocker Guitar Wolf magically appears to tell Ace that love knows no boundaries like race and gender. That’s just plain sweet. And there’s tons of CGI exploding zombie heads. Do yourself a favor and find Wild Zero and discover a rock flick that has all the exploding heads and homosexual overtones Neil Diamond’s The Jazz Singer was missing.