ADOPT-A-PAL

CHOAD & PUSSYFOOT: Two more stupid dogs with sweaters. What else could someone ask for? With a knick-knack-paddy-whack, give a dog a home, these two dogs sure like to moan. That’s right, folks. MOAN! That’s why they are here and that’s why no one wants them. So the only thing I can say to make you come and get them is, “THEY’RE GOING TO DIE IN THE CHAMBER!”
TITTLES: Butternut, butternut. So cute and poofy. That ugly ruffle mess makes you look goofy. This one’s a real pick-me-up. Tittles is a shaky pooping freak, but needs a very caring and patient owner. Tittles is kinda ugly, but that dress makes up for all of it. The sad thing is that the dress is a permanent part of her. It’s actually holding her together. She was once in a chainsaw juggling act. A stunt man juggled two chainsaws with her and she got side-swiped with the blade. Good ol’ girl, though. She never lets the neighbor dogs pick on her. She just poops on them when they called her "Holy Tittles".
MR. & MRS. BOW WOW DOGGY STYLE: I don’t know where the fuck all these pets with clothes are coming from, but these two are a match made in heaven. They ran away to Graceland and got married in a little gold hut. They got to drink fresh water out of Elvis’ commode. No, I’m just kidding. They are just two stupid looking dogs that need a new home and a nice shelter. Preferably not a golden hut, just a fenced in yard and some Chuck Wagon. Ride 'em, cowboy!