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March 2003

Cover
OUR BELOVED EDITOR, WAYNE CHINSANG, FOUND MURDERED!
Interviews
BILL SIENKIEWICZ
JON SPENCER BLUES EXPLOSION'S JUDAH BAUER
WEB EXCLUSIVE: MINISTRY'S AL JOURGENSEN
WEB EXCLUSIVE: THE TRANSPLANTS' ROB ASTON
Untapped Talent
UNTAPPED TALENT: JAY RYAN
Stories
''CUNT'' IS THE ''FUCK'' OF THE 21ST CENTURY, SAY TOP LINGUISTS
A CALL FOR PEACE
CHEESE, DANGEROUS CHEESE
COLUMBUS NARROWLY ESCAPES GAIL FORCE HURRICANE
EVERYTHING I EVER NEEDED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM THE MOVIES.
FRANKLIN FURTER'S MATTERS OF THE HEART
FUNERALS FOR DUMMIES
GROUP SEEKS BRIGHTER TOMORROW BY ELIMINATING STALE JOKES
JOHN DENVER RETURNS. NO ONE CARES.
LETTERS FROM A PUTZ: AMERICANS
NELL CARTER ANNOUNCES NEW DIET PLAN
NEWS YOU CAN USE
ROBERT BLAKE BACK TO WORK
TRUE STORY
VINNIE'S FUN FACTS!
WEB EXCLUSIVE: MAULING PROMPTS DEVELOPMENT OF ATTACK-PROOF SUIT
WEB EXCLUSIVE: YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME
WHEREFORE ART THOU, PATRIOTISM?
Entertainmental
A. YOUNG'S FLEETING IMAGES
BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE
CAP'N BOOTY'S TOYBOX
DAREDEVIL
DRESSY BESSY'S LITTLE MUSIC
FREAK FILMS: THE SALTON SEA
HEY MERCEDES
HOT ROD CIRCUIT
HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS
KING'S X
PARTY OF HELICOPTERS
THE ESKIMOS
VOICE FROM THE LONGBOX
WEB EXCLUSIVE: ALIEN STEVENS' THE BRINK
WEB EXCLUSIVE: DARBY'S DVD STASH: DONNIE DARKO
WEB EXCLUSIVE: FLOGGING MOLLY
WEB EXCLUSIVE: LADYTRON & SIMIAN
WEB EXCLUSIVE: OLD SCHOOL
Pen & Think
AIN'T IT GRAND!
I'M AT A LOSS FOR WORDS, BUT PLENTY OF WORDS FOR LOSS
NIGHT IN THE CITY
SOME SHIT I WROTE ON A PLANE
SOPHOMORE YEAR
THE INFINITE PATIENCE OF THE WORLD
TINMAN
TODAY, RIGHT NOW
WEB EXCLUSIVE: FOUR WISHES
Comics (pop-ups)
CHORTLES
CORNFLAKES
FEELING UNUSUAL
KUNG FU BUS BOY
MY COMIC
POOT
RAMUT BOXO SQUAD
STUPID COMICS 1
STUPID COMICS 2
THE ODDLINGS

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