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This past summer, I went to the Warped Tour. It was cool, but there was a strange sort of sadness in the air. I couldn’t really figure it out. Then I got this DVD in the mail: Punk Rock Holocaust, the latest film from director Doug Sakmann. That’s when everything started making sense. That’s also when I thanked my lucky stars and garters that I didn’t attend the year before.

Apparently, during Warped Tour 2003, everyone died! Well, not everyone, but almost everyone. Entire crowds of moshing kids, the bands playing for them, everyone. Thankfully, one brave reporter went unscathed, and pursued the investigative truth, all the while receiving a bit of the ol' runaround from Warped Tour guru Kevin Lyman.

So, who was behind the two-tone mask and goggles, slaughtering every Warped-goer and active participant? Buy the fucking movie! Did you really think I’d give that away?

In all honesty, Punk Rock Holocaust puts the "awesome" back in "constant bloodshed". Seeing that crazed, masked maniac slaughter everyone within 15 feet of a skateboard was nothing short of beautiful, and, at times, hilarious. And save for a few long-in-the-tooth moments where the plot unfolds (a.k.a., "the scenes where no one dies"), this movie ranks right up there with Elite Entertainment’s Monsturd for me. And if you know me, you know of my honest-to-God love for that film.

Not only does the DVD boast a whopping 110+ deaths, but it also has about as many special features: trailers for upcoming underground movies (including Live Freaky! Die Freaky!), music videos from the bands in the film, a blooper reel, film festival clips, and 12 hidden easter eggs!

So, keep one eye out for the disc on your local store shelves, and keep the other eye out for shadowy murderous types at your next Warped Tour visit. You might just wind up in the film’s sequel.