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vol 8 - issue 05 (jan 2006) :: cover story
HUMOR MAGAZINE RESOLVES TO FINALLY BURY DEAD HORSE IN 2006
Reporting by Wayne Chinsang
Illustration by Fphatty Lamar

MILWAUKEE, WI - The entertainment and humor magazine tastes like chicken made a New Yearís resolution this week to finally bury the dead horse that has become their Annual Millennium Awards cover stories. The not-so-funny story idea has graced every January cover of tastes like chicken for the past six years, since January of 2000.

"You know, Iím not sure it was ever funny," stated the magazineís editor, Wayne Chinsang. "I mean, it may have been funny to us the first year, back in 2000, but thatís about it. And most of us spent that entire year drunk, so our opinions during that time period probably donít hold a lot of weight."

Some are shocked by the news. "Youíre damn right Iím shocked," stated ex-TLC staff writer Tina Wells. "Not that theyíre putting a stop to it, but because they were still doing it up until last year! I suggested we put an end to it halfway through the first one!"

Others are extremely pleased by the news. "I just heard," stated longtime TLC fan Aaron Norton. "To say that Iím elated doesnít even begin to describe how I feel. Now if I could just find a fully-nude picture of Sarah Michelle Gellar I could die a happy man."

"Iíve been trying to convince Chinsang to put an end to this for years now," stated eight-year TLC veteran Vinnie Baggadonuts. "Iím glad he finally saw the light. Now I just hope he reconsiders my other ideas: to bring back the Footman comic and that hilarious reoccurring column Sue Pork used to write, 'What Would Barbie Do?'"


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