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vol 5 - issue 02 (oct 2002) :: stories
GREAT PUMPKIN SUCCUMBS TO ILLNESS
reporting by franklin furter
illustration by john miller

THE PUMPKIN PATCH, USA - The last bastion of childhood innocence and wonderment passed away on Friday, October 4, 2002. The Great Pumpkin was known for years to bring a glorious bounty of goodies to any child patient enough to wait for him in the pumpkin patch. He ceased to exist when his sole believer, Linus Van Pelt, finally gave up hope.

"Look, I've been waiting for this guy my whole life and he's never shown up. There's a time when a fellow just has to stop believing. I'm 52 now, and there is no way I can bring back all the time I’ve wasted. I’ve never known the pleasures of the flesh, and I still live with my parents. It’s time I forget about this nonsense and make the best of the years I have left." said Van Pelt.


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