NO! YOU TALK TO ME!

Ring-a-ling, ling! Talk to ME! Hahahaha. Man, is that funny! That guy is the best writer y’all have at the Tapes Like Children.
Sorry I couldn’t pen you up another piece of complicated prose like I usually do. I’m holed up in the Ovary Office with Colon and Dick. Wait. That didn’t sound right. You want to know a secret? The only reason I let Daddy’s friend Dick be my Vice President was because I wanted people to say, “Hey! There goes Dick and Bush. That Dick and that Bush are running America!” Juvenile? Yes. Funny? You bet your National Security it is.
So anyways, me, Dick, and Colon are busy trying to figure out who’s a terrorist. It’s really hard, because we don’t know what a terrorist looks like. I do know what Saddam Hussein looks like, though: a fat Freddie Mercury. The porno ‘stache gives it away. So I got this plan. If we kill Freddie Mercury, we will essentially kill Saddam. It’s absolutely full-proof.
Aw, frankenbeans! My signal is fading. This cell phone is crap. It doesn’t even have a cord! Daddy bought it for me a few days ago. He even let me pick out some custom rings. Right now, if you call me, my phone plays the theme from Powerpuff Girls. Yee-haw! But I gotta go. Dick and Colon and I are going to practice my cursive writing today. We did “G”s yesterday, and I rocked!
Happy Thanksgiving, or as they say in Spainica: “Feliz Navidodi, we likes to party!”