CAP'N BOOTY'S TOYBOX

Fresh from the Alpha Quadrant comes Enterprise, Star Trek\'s answer to the prequel trend that\'s sweeping the nation. What does that mean for me? Some pretty new plastic items to add to my shelf. These aren\'t the same old Star Trek toys from a few years back. These babies are extreme, in-your-face, and tweaked to the max! All kidding aside, the merchandising torch has been passed to Art Asylum. This fledgling company was responsible for the Crouching Tiger action figures, among others, and the future has never looked brighter. Their first series of six figures comes directly from Enterprise’s first episode, “The Broken Bow”. Holy crap in outer space, these action figures are beyond incredible! The standout figure has to be Scott Bakula, also known as Captain Archer. This thing looks so much like him, you’d think they just shrunk that poor bastard to seven-inches tall and shoved him in the package. In fact, last night, I swear, he asked me to pass the jar of Vaseline while I was trying to sleep. Beside the knock-out likeness, there are plenty of other reasons he appears so life-like. He has an incredible 16 points of articulation! That’s great news for Scotty if he ever needs to strangle you in your sleep,.. or do the hustle. He even has an innovative new bendy waist. All the joints are contained underneath a durable rubber exterior. This way the Captain can sit down in his chair without the embarrassing exposure of his v-crotch. Revolutionary! The accessories are also outstanding. He comes with a phase pistol, scanner, communicator, and various replaceable hands to easily hold each accessory. Captain Archer is indeed a fabulous action figure, and hopefully just the first of a prosperous line. And with the new Next Generation movie soon approaching theaters, Art Asylum will probably be kept busy for quite a while. Yeah, Star Trek is the coolest!