VOICE FROM THE LONGBOX

There is an old joke about choosing between working retail, or having a nail driven through your hand. And, unfortunately, as we carom down the calendar toward the Christmas holiday season, I'm feeling more like Venom than Spider-Man.
I've always considered myself to be extremely patient and accommodating. I love my job, and I love interacting with my customers. However, there’re a few misconceptions that need to be addressed.
For starters: “The customer is always right.”
WRONG! That old chestnut has caused me so much grief. I recently lost a customer over a $7 item that he ordered by mistake. Now, I know mistakes happen. I tried to sell the item in my store for two months, and when no one else purchased it, I had to insist that the person buy it. The customer in question was once considered a close friend. I had waited on him every week for more than five years. I routinely searched for comics he was looking for. I loaned him comics from my own collection. However, after the "incident," all that history and mutual respect (which apparently wasn't mutual) was gone. After purchasing the item, he went home upset, and wrote an email to me to express his disappointment. It was directed at me, at my boss, and at the inherent flaws in the comic book retail industry. Apparently, this one item was the reason why girls are afraid to shop in comic book stores; why kids don't read comics anymore; why I am killing the comics industry. He got the "last word."
Yes, he bought the item. But he will never again darken my door. Need I remind anyone here that I get paid by the hour, for not nearly enough, I might add, to put up with this shit?
Another misconception is perpetuated by the character of Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons. Don't get me wrong. I usually find his appearances to be very amusing. But it does create and reinforce the wrong impression. When I'm happy about my lot in life, it's water off a duck's back, bay-bee. But, when I'm not, it pisses me off. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not grossly overweight. I exercise everyday. I'm married and have had sex. I've graduated from college. And I bathe everyday. I do read comics. Hell, I LOVE comics, and can tell you more than you want to hear about them. But I can also talk about sports, religion, or politics.
Am I being overly defensive? Hell yes! I'm amazed at how many people need to be reminded of manners and civility. It's Christmastime, and it doesn't hurt anyone to be patient and courteous. Wait in line without grumbling. Respond to a greeting or farewell with a like response. Keep your comments to yourself unless, like they taught us in kindergarten, you have something nice to say.
The holiday season is particularly rough on people in retail. But please realize that we are just like you. We deserve some respect as well. I hope everyone has a safe holiday season. Please check out some comic books or graphic novels. They make great gifts.
Oh yeah. The punch line for the joke I began this column with: How big is the nail?