WEB EXCLUSIVE: ADAPTATION.

We open on Darby O'Gill alone in a dark office, sometime in the early morning on the West Coast. He needs to write the review of Adaptation., but where to begin? Do we begin with him buying the ticket? Seeing the movie? Liking the movie? Or do we start at the beginning of him wanting to see the movie? No. Tell the story. It’s about two people-- no, wait-- four people! It's about a flower. I write these reviews all the time yet I never know if what I’m saying is right. Is there a right answer to a review? Okay. We open on a typewriter; the blank page mocks us, as if we have nothing worth saying. The phone rings; the sound of the ring shatters the silence of the room. It’s Wayne. He needs the article. Will this be good enough? How will I finish? I haven’t even talked about Nicolas Cage, Charlie and Donald Kaufman, or even Spike Jonze. How can this be a review when I haven’t even talked about the movie? It’s late. I haven’t eaten. Maybe I should eat something. Maybe a nice sandwich; I've always liked pastrami. Do I even have pastrami? Or maybe I should call it a night and try and get some sleep; I can start fresh in the morning. Is it always like this? How do I ever get anything done? Okay. We talk about the movie, the feelings it expresses, or the views it shares on life. Is anyone going to be able to read this? I may even be hurting the chances of someone wanting to see this movie now. Maybe I should stop. Why do we even do this? Why should others care what I think? If someone enjoys a movie, shouldn’t that be enough? Why would they care if others shared their views? That’s good. I like that.