CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG SUES MILLER RED DOG

MILWAUKEE, WI - Alcohol and children’s book enthusiasts alike were shocked to learn that Clifford The Big Red Dog has filed a defamation lawsuit against the Miller Brewing Company, in regards to their ever popular Red Dog Beer.
Clifford is blaming his short stint as Red Dog’s spokes-canine on his arrest last month, after a night-long spree of vandalizing and car chasing.
Representation for “the dog as big as a house” told reporters that, “Clifford found out the hard way that the lure of money, sex and drugs only pays off if you’re Keith Richards or Ghandi. He never realized that taking part in Red Dog’s new campaign, “Drink Your Weight”, would have such a negative effect on his public persona.”
They also went on to assure alarmed kindergartners worldwide that, “Clifford is in no way, shape, or form an alcoholic. He’s just fallen on some hard dog days.
Clifford has since been released from the elephant paddock at the Milwaukee County Zoo on $30,000 bail, and is under barn arrest.
While Clifford himself could not be reached for comment, his longtime girlfriend, Emily Elizabeth, said, “Cliff hasn’t been the same since his incarceration.”
A tearful Miss Elizabeth stated, “He hasn’t humped a school bus or pissed on a fire station in weeks.”