admin
22 December 2023
Franklin,
Last week I was putting laundry away (because my wife asked me) and found a man's penis in my wife's dresser drawer. I think it might be her ex-husband's penis, as their relationship ended very badly. Please help me! I am very afraid, and haven't slept in four days.
Sleeping fully clothed in Reynoldsburg,
Mark Pastel
As possible criminal charges were involved, I contacted Mark immediately. It would seem that although Mark is a very caring and loyal husband, he is a dimwit in the bedroom. Mark, who works at the Huntington building downtown (and can be reached at 572-3491 ext.1700) merely mistook his wife's sexual aide for an actual part of a man's body. This would be a good time to bring up the importance of open communication between men and women. Ladies, if your partner leaves you unsatisfied, it is important to tell them that they are stupid and would most likely be unable to find a nationally registered historic monument in their own hometown. Remember, you cannot spell “intercourse” without first changing, and then rearranging, some of the letters in the word “discourse.”
Yo Franklin,
I met this bitch last night and I said, “Hey, bitch! Why ain't you back at my crib where you belong?” Then I told her she had more junk in her trunk than that old man Fred Sanford and his son what's his name. I can't figure out why the bitch didn't hook up with me. Man, she missed out on the greatest three minutes of her life. Let me give a shout out to my man Leonard, who works over at the Burrito Barn out in West Jefferson.
Confused and alone at my crib,
Brian "Big Sassy" Dean
Wow, Brian. That's incredible. The same thing used to happen to me all the time. Then I found out that women did not think I was confident or brave, so I shot myself in the head to prove them wrong. I would recommend that you shoot yourself in the head immediately. I guarantee all of your problems will go away.
HAVING PROBLEMS WITH MATTERS OF YOUR HEART? EMAIL FRANKLIN HERE FOR ALL THE ANSWERS.
Last week I was putting laundry away (because my wife asked me) and found a man's penis in my wife's dresser drawer. I think it might be her ex-husband's penis, as their relationship ended very badly. Please help me! I am very afraid, and haven't slept in four days.
Sleeping fully clothed in Reynoldsburg,
Mark Pastel
As possible criminal charges were involved, I contacted Mark immediately. It would seem that although Mark is a very caring and loyal husband, he is a dimwit in the bedroom. Mark, who works at the Huntington building downtown (and can be reached at 572-3491 ext.1700) merely mistook his wife's sexual aide for an actual part of a man's body. This would be a good time to bring up the importance of open communication between men and women. Ladies, if your partner leaves you unsatisfied, it is important to tell them that they are stupid and would most likely be unable to find a nationally registered historic monument in their own hometown. Remember, you cannot spell “intercourse” without first changing, and then rearranging, some of the letters in the word “discourse.”
Yo Franklin,
I met this bitch last night and I said, “Hey, bitch! Why ain't you back at my crib where you belong?” Then I told her she had more junk in her trunk than that old man Fred Sanford and his son what's his name. I can't figure out why the bitch didn't hook up with me. Man, she missed out on the greatest three minutes of her life. Let me give a shout out to my man Leonard, who works over at the Burrito Barn out in West Jefferson.
Confused and alone at my crib,
Brian "Big Sassy" Dean
Wow, Brian. That's incredible. The same thing used to happen to me all the time. Then I found out that women did not think I was confident or brave, so I shot myself in the head to prove them wrong. I would recommend that you shoot yourself in the head immediately. I guarantee all of your problems will go away.
HAVING PROBLEMS WITH MATTERS OF YOUR HEART? EMAIL FRANKLIN HERE FOR ALL THE ANSWERS.
artid
1115
Old Image
5_6_franklin.jpg
issue
vol 5 - issue 06 (feb 2003)
section
stories