THEY'RE JUST JEALOUS

Don't cry, honey. Those kids are just jealous. That's why they make fun of you. Come on, buck up! Look at you-- just look at you! Have you ever seen a pair of sweatpants look so good on a human being? Sweetie, that boy just points at you because he wants a lovely teal pair of sweats for himself. And those girls get all giggly because they think you look cute and smart in those glasses. What’s that? No! You can hardly see that corrective patch beneath those nice lenses. That lazy eye will be fixed in no time, and you'll be stronger and more handsome than ever. How many kids do you know that get to wear a patch? Who's going to get to be “captain” when the kids play pirates at school? That's right; you do! What do you mean they don't play pirates at recess? All the cool kids do. Just show 'em how!
Cyclops? What do you mean "cyclops"? Who calls you that? Oh. I get it. Well, they probably think your nickname is “Cy”, and they probably think that because your name sometimes reminds a lot of people of the word “sci-fi”, because of the way it's spelled, Brian. Anyway, teachers are fun like that. Come on, baby. You're going to be late for school.