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22 December 2023
TODAY\'S LESSON: ROMANCE
In the eternal pursuit of knowledge, scholars have dredged the depths of every known text to find the answers to man’s greatest questions. Little did they know that the solution to all of philosophy’s pondering could be found at their local video store.
1. The female friend that has been helping you get the girl of your dreams will show up at your prom/dance/party looking hot, and admit that she\'s always loved you.
2. The person you fight with the most is in love with you. Slip them a roofie and get it over with.
3. Superheros can\'t have significant others without having them kidnapped and held hostage by arch enemies. It\'s tough being a superhero.
4. When the priest asks, \"If anyone here knows any reason that these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace,\" this is the time to tell the girl of your dreams that you love her. No one will mind.
5. If you make a bet with your friends about turning an \"ugly\" girl hot, you will fall in love with her just as the stupid guy in your betting pool spills the beans.
6. Hot chicks are tired of going out with jocks. What they really want is a geek.
7. Seconds after you get off the plane in a foreign country, a beautiful, exotic woman will sleep with you. This doesn\'t mean you\'re an international love machine. It means she\'s a spy.
8. Beautiful, talented, intelligent women have problems finding dates.
9. The woman you just met, that you fell deeply in love with the second you laid eyes on her-- she\'s your sister!
10. Prostitutes fall in love with nice guys and change their ways-- so make sure you smile when you hand over that $5 bill.
In the eternal pursuit of knowledge, scholars have dredged the depths of every known text to find the answers to man’s greatest questions. Little did they know that the solution to all of philosophy’s pondering could be found at their local video store.
1. The female friend that has been helping you get the girl of your dreams will show up at your prom/dance/party looking hot, and admit that she\'s always loved you.
2. The person you fight with the most is in love with you. Slip them a roofie and get it over with.
3. Superheros can\'t have significant others without having them kidnapped and held hostage by arch enemies. It\'s tough being a superhero.
4. When the priest asks, \"If anyone here knows any reason that these two should not be wed, let them speak now or forever hold their peace,\" this is the time to tell the girl of your dreams that you love her. No one will mind.
5. If you make a bet with your friends about turning an \"ugly\" girl hot, you will fall in love with her just as the stupid guy in your betting pool spills the beans.
6. Hot chicks are tired of going out with jocks. What they really want is a geek.
7. Seconds after you get off the plane in a foreign country, a beautiful, exotic woman will sleep with you. This doesn\'t mean you\'re an international love machine. It means she\'s a spy.
8. Beautiful, talented, intelligent women have problems finding dates.
9. The woman you just met, that you fell deeply in love with the second you laid eyes on her-- she\'s your sister!
10. Prostitutes fall in love with nice guys and change their ways-- so make sure you smile when you hand over that $5 bill.
artid
1182
Old Image
5_7_everything.jpg
issue
vol 5 - issue 07 (mar 2003)
section
stories