To whom it may concern,
On Sunday, January 13, United States President George W. Bush passed out while watching a Baltimore Ravens-Miami Dolphins game and fell to the floor from his couch. Bush almost choked to death when one of your Rold Gold Twist pretzels became lodged in his throat. I am writing because I was wondering if, in the future, you could make your pretzels bigger and a slightly more awkward shape. Please let me know if you could do this.
Sincerely,
insane wayne chinsang, editor, tastes like chicken
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