WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME!

In the recent past, Americans have taken several sighs of relief with official government apologies for travesties such as slavery and the attack on Pearl Harbor. Americans will breath easier yet again with the latest and perhaps longest overdue apology. For years Americans have dealt with disgust and hurt feelings brought on by a group of particularly heinous fiends. And finally, after decades of coping with the trauma, top designers Calvin Klein and Donna Karan have made an official apology for the 1980s-era abomination known as legwarmers. The two will be flown to Texas and immediately drawn-and-quartered.