LESBIANS: CAN I JOIN?

Attention all lesbians and all other women who don’t know they’re lesbians yet: I love you.
That’s right, I know it’s hard to believe. Especially since I haven’t even met most of you yet. But I’d like to. Particularly if you bring your girlfriend with you when you stop by my house. That will be hot!
Anyway, I’ve been an avid fan of your little club for quite some time now. Oh, I may have lied in the past to my girlfriends, family, and church congregation, by saying that I didn’t agree with same-sex partners.
“Oh no, honey. I would hate to see you get naked with another woman.”
Yeah right! Like there is a straight man on Earth that wouldn’t want to see their significant other eyeball-deep in a slice of The Great Divide!
Lesbians of the world, you and I have a lot in common. I would like to outline our similarities for you here:
- We both like having sex with women.
- We both have attended Lilith Fair. (I was dragged back in 1999 by my girlfriend at the time.)
- We both have hairy armpits.
- We both like trucks.
- We both have dirty fantasies about that girl from Sabrina, The Teenage Witch.
- We both hate periods! (Yuck!)
It’s obvious to me that we share a common bond. It’s like we’re soul partners; connected for life by our love of women. So, I was wondering if it might be possible for me to join your elite club. If you could just look past the whole “me being a man” thing, I think I could be an integral part of your club, and a great contributor to all of your lesbianic desires.
I look forward to being accepted into the fold of the lesbians.
Heh heh. Fold,.. of the lesbians.
Waiting for my Pink Triangle Membership Card,
Keith Haynes