WHY WAYNE HATES D.J. KIRKBRIDE

At the last staff meeting, Wayne offered a prize to whomever could figure out why he hates fellow staffer D.J. Kirkbride. Hoping the prize rhymed with \"noney\" or \"flea barge rizza\", I jumped right on the task (give or take eight days).
I guess we all first started noticing some tension when D.J. bit Wayne\'s style and began wearing a fringed, beaded vest. I mean, come on! Only Asians can get away with wearing that garment without looking so fruity; and Wayne\'s been holding onto that \"not so fruity\" look for a good four or five months now. He owns that look. D.J. really had no right to step on it.
Then there\'s the fact that D.J. can wear nail polish and pull it off. He even gets those cute little flowers and rhinestones put on. Wayne hates that. After all, he\'s communist, and communists don\'t like nail polish.
Another thing that drives Wayne crazy is that D.J. makes really good quiche. I guess there\'s not much to that, except for that I think Wayne\'s upset that he likes quiche.
Something else: D.J. takes Wayne\'s mom out for drinks sometimes, and thinks he doesn\'t know. Oh, but he does. Wayne waits up all night drinking green tea and smoking opium, staring out of the window until D.J. rides his tricycle by the house. Mrs. Chinsang jumps out of the front basket and slips through the front door,.. like Wayne doesn\'t see her!
What broke the camel\'s back was probably the day D.J. took J-Mil to Sea World. Somehow, Wayne thought he would be D.J.\'s guest. But, come the end of the day, D.J. and J-Mil were at the dolphin tank wearing sunburn and smiles, while Wayne was left on his front porch wearing a wet suit and a single tear.
So, I mean, I guess I can see why Wayne doesn\'t like D.J.-- I guess.
What\'s that? Free \"rizzas\" on the way?!? Oh, yes! D.J.\'s a bastard! Hate him. What a punk.