GWAR! (WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?)

Hey, kiddies! Pull on your slickers and cinch up your belt, because the Scumdogs of the Universe known as Gwar are coming to fuck you up. What? You've never been to a Gwar show? Get thee to the show and behold the magical mayhem that is Gwar. Maybe you lack the intestinal fortitude that it takes to witness Gwar live. Maybe your fragile little mind cannot possibly comprehend the genius of Gwar. Maybe you're just a worthless maggot! Why not test your mettle, Gwar virgins, and do as I say? Reach into your pocket and pull out the funds. Run or skip to your local ticket office and purchase a ticket for you and your equally worthless maggot friend. Get there early and stake your claim right in front of the stage. Defend your meager plot of concrete with your stagnant life. Don't be afraid, little one. Let yourself be baptized in their pungent juices. Succumb to the all mighty power and thunderous glory of GWAR February 24th at 7PM at the Newport Music Hall. And remember: only pussies wear plastic ponchos.