YES NEW YORK CD COMPILATION

Chowing down on BLTs and apples, tastes like chicken’s Vinnie Baggadonuts and Stella Rivet sat down and recorded themselves listening to the forthcoming compilation, Yes New York. What follows is the transcription.
1. The Strokes - \"New York City Cops\" (live in Iceland)
Stella: I can’t be objective about this one because I like it. I just love the chorus.
Vinnie: I think I have to like it, just because it sounds like everything Iggy Pop & the Stooges ever recorded.
2. Radio 4 - \"Save Your City\"
V: Dear Christ! This is terrible!
S: (eating apples, dreaming of caramels) Where are the caramels at, dude?
V: I’m changing the song.
3. The Rogers Sisters - \"Zero Point\"
S: (dancing)
V: Ack! Ha ha! I swear the singers are on an old Moon Ska compilation I have.
S: (shimmying wildly) This one definitely goes on the soundtrack of my life.
V: Oh,...
S: I’m at a party, causing a ruckus! Oh,.. I’m a sucker for when a song stops, and for yelling, and for drums like this. It has a weird surf music thing to it. Rawr!
V: Arr!
4. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - \"Ballad Of A Sin Eater\"
S: This is the song I was telling you about. I like the-- what is that, the bass blowing out the speaker?
V: Yeah. It sounds like it’s playing through an overdrive pedal.
S: There’s a tambourine. Those fuckers! If I was really mad at someone and wanted to tell them to “blow me”, I’d listen to this chorus.
V: I think this song’s puke.
S: Can I fast forward it?
V: Fuck yeah!
5. The Fever - \"Ladyfingers\"
(The CD player seems to malfunction here, and the CD won’t play.)
V: Maybe it doesn’t want to play this crappy song.
(The song kicks in at full volume.)
V: Oh,.. this is the other one you were telling me about, where it takes a standard piece from every stereotypical new wave song.
S: This is our first Robert Smith-wannabe contest entry. He totally gets beat out a few songs from now. I like pieces of this, but not the whole song.
V: I keep thinking of The Breakfast Club.
S: His voice reminds me of the guy in stellastarr*.
V: Which just means that stellastarr* sounds like The Cure.
S: (sharply) I KNOW THAT!!!
6. Longwave - \"Next Plateau\"
V: (wearing a facial expression of “kill me”)
S: I just imagine Jason Rivet sitting in his room, playing his guitar.
7. Calla - \"Strangler\"
V: -----
S: Pbbt!
8. The Rapture - \"Olio\"
V: It’s like Daft Punk meets U.N.K.L.E.\'s “Rabbit in your Techno Headlights”.
S: Eighties electronica is making a comeback! It’s so nice that they included the winner of the Robert Smith sound-alike contest! Who is this? I can’t get over this. (reading CD package) The Rapture. It makes me so angry!
V: Apparently, nobody’s happy in New York.
9. The Walkmen - \"Rue The Day\"
S: I know who this is, because I was curious to hear this CD.
V: Rrr,.. (waiting for Stella to change it)
S: This totally isn’t what I thought they were gonna sound like, but everybody’s raving about them.
V: Who is this?
S: The Walkmen.
V: Well, you can skip it.
10. Interpol - \"NYC\"
V: Is this Cracker’s “Eurotrash Girl”? Somebody in the crowd will be holding their arm and crying on this one.
(The song kicks into a new melody.)
V: OH GOD! YOU’VE GOT TO CHANGE IT!!!
S: But I didn’t even get a chance to hear it!
11. The Natural History - \"The Right Hand\"
S: It’s starting off promising. Let’s see where it goes.
(Moments pass, and the singing begins.)
S: Ew! I’ve noticed this with a lot of songs lately. The music sounds okay, then the singer comes in and ruins it. I don’t like this.
12. The Witnesses - \"I Should Not Have To Ask\"
V: (sarcastically) This is the “fun” band on the album.
S: I think they used to be a jam band.
(Song gets skipped immediately.)
13. ICD Soundsystem - \"Tired\"
V: (growling, disgusted) This is terrible!
S: It sounds like they’re trying to be the Doors. THIS IS A DISC OF PEOPLE TRYING TO SOUND LIKE OTHER PEOPLE!
14. Le Tigre - \"Deceptacon\" (DFA Remix)
S: I like this one!
V: Le Tigre?!?
S: I want to dance to this one. It’s good! Angry little girl singing over disco! The girls win on this CD. Is it disco to be a joke, or is that their thing?
V: How is a good song like this on this compilation?
S: It’s supposed to represent bands in New York.
V: But it’s all the same shit. No hip-hop. No other sounds!
15. Secret Machines - \"What Used To Be French\"
V: This is trying my patience.
S: I feel like I’m waiting to be disappointed.
V: This is the kind of music they play on NOVA when they show plants growing. I can just see a bunch of fine art majors standing around, wearing scarves, thinking this is deep.
16. Unitard - \"Year To Be Hated\"
V: So, this is a band covering themselves as a secret band?
S: Yeah. I don’t mind it.
V: It reminds me of that raw Velvet Underground song, “Close the Door”.
S: I just love their name: Unitard. I like this song on a compilation, but I wouldn’t buy their stuff. And I like the twanginess of it because I’m from Shelby, Ohio.
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