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22 December 2023
When I saw the commercials for Hollywood Homicide, I was not interested at all. I was sure Harrison Ford had completely lost it. He'd become an old man, pooping his pants and such. Depressing. The movie looked like just another in a long line of bad choices by the formerly awesome movie hero. Ford as the grizzled old veteran cop, and the not-so-pretty pretty boy Josh Hartnett as the rookie. And it had something to do with the rap music industry. I figured we'd have the "old-rookie-shoved-on-the-veteran-partner" shit, and, at first, they don't like each other. But over time, they learn to respect each other,.. and then fall in hot, sweaty, pulsating butt-sex love, but are too afraid to go all the way, like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover in those Lethal Weapon movies. Surprisingly, that wasn't the case.
Hollywood Homicide,.. isn't,.. half,.. bad.
Yeah, the main plot about a multiple murder in the rap industry is pointless and doesn't go anywhere interesting. It seems like this movie was written in the '80s with the hair metal industry as the backdrop. Then, it was dusted off for a rewrite a couple of years ago, replacing buttrock music with gangsta rap to make it "hip". I dunno. There's also a pointless bit of history between Han Solo and his partner (who gave up sex and masturbation for 40 days and 40 nights) and the bad guys, but it can all be mostly tolerated and often ignored.
The main thing this movie has is some pretty likable characters. Ford and Hartnett's characters aren't at each other's throats. They like each other okay, and work pretty well together. There's also some fun with Ford's character doing real estate in addition to his police work, and Hartnett wants to be an actor. (Kind of like Hartnett himself.)
Anyway, the movie's kinda fun and worth checking out at the dollar theatre or on cable if there's nothing else to watch and you hate the outdoors. The way it terrifically subverts some cop cliches, but totally embraces others is frustrating, because it's almost a really good buddy cop movie. But, it's also got the downright amusingly fugly Dwight Yoakam, a frightening Lou Diamond Phillips bit, and a pointless Smokey Robinson cameo, so you know it's not all bad. And there's nothing like watching Indiana Jones throw a punch. He's 70 years old and could still kick my squishy ass.
Oh! At the screening, there was this really cute young lady next to me. I caught a glance of her, and thought maybe I knew her from college. This beautiful girl that I asked out once. She even agreed to go on a date with me,.. only to renege when she got back together with her boyfriend. It wasn't her, though. And I think I creeped her out. Damn. I wonder whatever happened to that hot, hot, hot girl from college whose name I can't remember.
Seriously. Beautiful. Hmmm,.. yeah. (sigh)
Hollywood Homicide,.. isn't,.. half,.. bad.
Yeah, the main plot about a multiple murder in the rap industry is pointless and doesn't go anywhere interesting. It seems like this movie was written in the '80s with the hair metal industry as the backdrop. Then, it was dusted off for a rewrite a couple of years ago, replacing buttrock music with gangsta rap to make it "hip". I dunno. There's also a pointless bit of history between Han Solo and his partner (who gave up sex and masturbation for 40 days and 40 nights) and the bad guys, but it can all be mostly tolerated and often ignored.
The main thing this movie has is some pretty likable characters. Ford and Hartnett's characters aren't at each other's throats. They like each other okay, and work pretty well together. There's also some fun with Ford's character doing real estate in addition to his police work, and Hartnett wants to be an actor. (Kind of like Hartnett himself.)
Anyway, the movie's kinda fun and worth checking out at the dollar theatre or on cable if there's nothing else to watch and you hate the outdoors. The way it terrifically subverts some cop cliches, but totally embraces others is frustrating, because it's almost a really good buddy cop movie. But, it's also got the downright amusingly fugly Dwight Yoakam, a frightening Lou Diamond Phillips bit, and a pointless Smokey Robinson cameo, so you know it's not all bad. And there's nothing like watching Indiana Jones throw a punch. He's 70 years old and could still kick my squishy ass.
Oh! At the screening, there was this really cute young lady next to me. I caught a glance of her, and thought maybe I knew her from college. This beautiful girl that I asked out once. She even agreed to go on a date with me,.. only to renege when she got back together with her boyfriend. It wasn't her, though. And I think I creeped her out. Damn. I wonder whatever happened to that hot, hot, hot girl from college whose name I can't remember.
Seriously. Beautiful. Hmmm,.. yeah. (sigh)
artid
1465
Old Image
5_11_hollywood.jpg
issue
vol 5 - issue 11 (jul 2003)
section
entertainmental