admin
22 December 2023
Just what exactly is this love thing that we let ourselves fall into, anyway? I've had it twice now, like the flu, and I still (unfortunately, I guess) don't see the point of it.
The first time it happened I was young and naive. I thought of it as a wonderful thing; the one thing that everyone searched for in life, and I finally had it. I was 16, and had a fresh young heart just waiting to be broken. Unfortunately, I fell in love with someone who could only be in love with himself. Needless to say, it ended, as all relationships do. I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth and a shattered, tainted heart. I learned my lesson. So I thought.
I decided not to get into a relationship for a long time; to have some freedom and enjoy myself and not let my guard down again to be hurt. I have a philosophy that everyone in the world is searching to be in love with themselves, only in the form of another person. But no matter how much you have in common with one person, no one will ever be you. So you will never be completely, 100% happy in any relationship. There will always be those one or two or ten things that you argue about and will never change, because people can't change people. Relationships will always end. There is no such thing as forever. The only things that last forever are genital warts and mono. Love wastes so much time. The mind games. The jealousy. The heartache. Why waste all that time on one person, when it is just going to come to an end eventually?
I wasn't going to let myself into that trap again. I was going to take all the energy I spent on being in and getting over love, and put it into having fun, going on dates with different guys, having sex and rockin' out.
But, I fell back into the trap again. And this time I fell in love with my best friend, so it's even harder to stay away from it. I looked over the edge for so long, seeing him at the bottom, wondering if I should jump. I closed my eyes and took the plunge. I opened my eyes in a different experience where love was strong and could work. And although I know that it could end at some point, I would never consider being with him a waste of time.
The first time it happened I was young and naive. I thought of it as a wonderful thing; the one thing that everyone searched for in life, and I finally had it. I was 16, and had a fresh young heart just waiting to be broken. Unfortunately, I fell in love with someone who could only be in love with himself. Needless to say, it ended, as all relationships do. I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth and a shattered, tainted heart. I learned my lesson. So I thought.
I decided not to get into a relationship for a long time; to have some freedom and enjoy myself and not let my guard down again to be hurt. I have a philosophy that everyone in the world is searching to be in love with themselves, only in the form of another person. But no matter how much you have in common with one person, no one will ever be you. So you will never be completely, 100% happy in any relationship. There will always be those one or two or ten things that you argue about and will never change, because people can't change people. Relationships will always end. There is no such thing as forever. The only things that last forever are genital warts and mono. Love wastes so much time. The mind games. The jealousy. The heartache. Why waste all that time on one person, when it is just going to come to an end eventually?
I wasn't going to let myself into that trap again. I was going to take all the energy I spent on being in and getting over love, and put it into having fun, going on dates with different guys, having sex and rockin' out.
But, I fell back into the trap again. And this time I fell in love with my best friend, so it's even harder to stay away from it. I looked over the edge for so long, seeing him at the bottom, wondering if I should jump. I closed my eyes and took the plunge. I opened my eyes in a different experience where love was strong and could work. And although I know that it could end at some point, I would never consider being with him a waste of time.
artid
40
Old Image
4_6_pig.swf
issue
vol 4 - issue 06 (feb 2002)
section
pen_think