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22 December 2023
NEW YORK, NY - Today Show host Katie Couric’s televised colonoscopy has helped increase colonoscopies nationwide by 20%.
When asked about the increase, Couric's colon stated, "I am just so happy my efforts are helping so many people. It makes me want to help humanity in other areas-- firf!"
When asked of its new goals, the colon replied, "I think the world still has a major issue with hunger. I would like to make sure that the children of the world get proper nutrition-- firf!"
When questioned about how it would achieve such a goal, it firfed, "I will personally digest every ounce of food, and check it for the proper vitamins and minerals." It added, "Then I will package the nutrients into easy-to-eat log-shaped nuggets."
Couric’s colon is expected to release the new world-saving food product later this fall.
When asked about the increase, Couric's colon stated, "I am just so happy my efforts are helping so many people. It makes me want to help humanity in other areas-- firf!"
When asked of its new goals, the colon replied, "I think the world still has a major issue with hunger. I would like to make sure that the children of the world get proper nutrition-- firf!"
When questioned about how it would achieve such a goal, it firfed, "I will personally digest every ounce of food, and check it for the proper vitamins and minerals." It added, "Then I will package the nutrients into easy-to-eat log-shaped nuggets."
Couric’s colon is expected to release the new world-saving food product later this fall.
artid
1517
Old Image
5_12_couric.jpg
issue
vol 5 - issue 12 (aug 2003)
section
stories