BUTTER BORKER DELIGHTS!

I say woe is the man who has to live his life without the joys-- yes, the joys-- of sweet, saturated, butter products! I must admit, I was that man before I moved to this great land of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
My first butter experience was at a restaurant called Kopp's. I then moved on to more butter happiness at the famed eatery known as Culver's.
These experiences inspired me, folks-- inspired me to create more buttery goodness for the rest of humanity! So, I went home and scientifically created some great butter recipes. These delights are something I like to call "Butter Borkers".
For my first recipe, I will start out by modifying the traditional butter burger. First, I took some ground meat from the grocery store and made some patties out of it. I then browned the meat. Now, here's the secret: I put the meat into a vat of liquid butter, and let it sit for about three years. By this time, the meat has liquefied itself into the butter. I know you will be tempted to drink it, but you must resist! The job isn't done yet.
During the liquefaction process I make some average burgers. I take a pair of tongs, grab the burgers, and dip them into the Butter Borker meat dressing. I then let it soak for a bit. Voila! An original Butter Borker Delight!
If you are new to Butter Borkers, I recommend eating them next to a hospital.
Next month I will show you how to make butter celery and butter cubes! Mmmm!