FLAG PROUDLY DISPLAYS AMERICAN FLAG

Nearly four months after the attacks of September 11th, patriotism still abounds. Green and red holiday lights were replaced for the old red, white and blue, and flags still fly proudly. But chances are you don’t have the most patriotic flag you could own. On February 1st, flag producer Ameri-Proud will release a new American flag. The flag, which is a regular US flag with a smaller US flag sewn into it, is sure to prove to everyone in your town that you are way more patriotic than they are.
“We’re really excited about this opportunity. Just when you think you’re as patriotic as Uncle Sam, there is another gimmicky piece of shit to fool you into thinking you need it to be more accepted by your asshole neighbors and superficial friends,” said Ameri-Proud owner Takashi Onizuka. “So get out there and buy these up. My vacation to Australia next year depends on it.”