WAYNE & VINNIE'S BEST MUSIC OF 2003

Intro: Every January, Wayne and Vinnie tell the world what their favorite albums of the year were. This year, they wanted to include Debbie into the fold so they could have a sweet illustration of the three of them as Destro, The Baroness, and Cobra Commander. (Bet you can’t guess who got to be The Baroness?) Unfortunately, Debbie is up to his hair plugs in comic deadlines, so Wayne and Vinnie are once again left alone to do the recording industry justice.
WAYNE CHINSANG
Alright, without taking a look at ol’ Vinnie’s list, I’ve decided to write down my thoughts: I like Plain M&Ms more than Peanut M&Ms. They’re just simpler. And the peanuts always stick in my teeth. Damn.
Now that I wrote down my thoughts, I figured I’d share with you some of the best goddamn music to make its way to my ears in the year 2003. So, here they are in absolutely no particular order.
First, you’ve got to dig on The Can Kickers’ Mountain Dudes. Self-described as “extreme old-time music from the wilds of southeastern Connecticut,” these cats can play. It’s fun, raw, and completely do-it-yourself. Whenever I listen to this album I’m convinced that these motherfuckers are on my front porch playing away. It’s foot-tapping fun. Period.
Up next, and in a completely different realm, is Marilyn Manson’s The Golden Age Of Grotesque. With the help of Tim Skold, Marilyn is back with a fun and loud anthem that encourages even the darkest and most sinister of goth kids to crack a smile and sing along with the punchy songs. In all honesty, it may very well be Manson’s best album to date.
Then you’ve got Estradasphere’s Quadropus. Sometimes instrumental and melodic, other times crass and raw, Quadropus wins, hands-down, the most eclectic album of the year award.
Hmmm,.. What else? Well, there’s just so goddamn much to talk about. Ah, fuck it. I’m just listing titles from here on out: Electric Six’s Fire; Galactic’s Ruckus; The Black Keys’ Thickfreakness; Bourbon Princess’ Black Feather Wings; Death In Vegas’ Scorpio Rising.
Man, I fucking hate doing this every year because I know there are a ton of albums I’m forgetting. And then, two weeks from now, I’ll be like, “Fuck! I forgot so-and-so.” So, I know I haven’t mentioned everything I should have, but I have short-term memory problems. For real.
I think I’m done. But before I go, I did want to say that my worst and most disappointing album of 2003-- if not the past three years-- is Liz Phair’s self-titled turd of an album. Liz, seriously, what the fuck? And to think that at one time I wanted you to have my babies. Okay, I’d still like for you to have my babies, but my point is just that you made a disc of shit. So, please, next time try and make an album for your fans, as opposed to an album for some zit-faced, teeny-bopper mall bitches. Christ. They should take your instruments away from you.
Okay, now I’m done. I’m off to read Vinnie’s list. Why do I have a feeling that “Macho Man” Randy Savage and The Kids of Widney High are on it?
VINNIE BAGGADONUTS
I know what you’re thinking: "Gee, another list of Vinnie’s highly-recommended albums. It’ll probably be full of Def Jux albums and probably include something The Slackers did." Well, you’re wrong, honky! Even though I listened the fuck out of The Slackers’ Close My Eyes and Dave Hillyard & the Rocksteady Seven’s United Front, I refused to include them on my list, on account of the endless favoritism I show them. Even though they’re fucking good.
I will include everything on Wayne’s list, except the Manson disc, because I never really listened to it. I’ll also include:
Outkast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below
Jolie Holland - Catalpa
Victor Rice - Victor Rice in America
Sean Hayes - Alabama Chicken
Diverse - One A.M.
Madlib - Shades of Blue
I would have included The Aggrolites’ Dirty Reggae, Lyrics Born’s Later That Day, and Soul Position’s 8 Million Stories, but I never got a copy of them.
And Joe Strummer-- Streetcore was beautiful. I’m sad you’re gone.
Until next year,...
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