admin
22 December 2023
George W. Bush is a goddamn liar! And I'm not even talking about weapons of mass destruction (WMD).
No, this time I'm talking about his "supposed" tax cuts. Remember those? Dubya got on national TV and promised that everyone was going to benefit from his new tax plan. Not just rich white folk, but even poor, non-white, non-Christians would find a big surprise when they did their taxes this year.
Well, guess what? I just did my taxes this weekend, and, boy, was I surprised. Why? Certainly not because of a bigger refund, that's for damn sure. No, I was surprised to find out I owe even more money this year than last year!!!
What the fuck is going on here, people?!?
How is it possible for the government to pass the biggest tax cut in recent memory, and my wife and I not benefit one single goddamn red, white, or blue cent?
I'll tell you how:
1. We're not rich enough to benefit from all the loopholes still rampant in the tax code.
2. We're not breeders.
That's right. The little woman and I have yet to reproduce. And because of my willingness to pull out and/or wear a piece of rubber on my dick, we're being punished.
Special breaks for breeders are nothing new. They've always been able to claim a deduction for every kid they pop out. But now they're also getting an additional tax credit on their return. A credit that, if Bush has his way and his tax cuts are made permanent, will increase to an ungodly $1,000 per child over the next few years!
And lest you think I'm being petty, remember, a credit isn't the same as some pussy little deduction. A credit is something you can apply toward your total tax return.
For example: If you owe the government $1,000 in taxes, and you have a kid, you can apply the Child Tax Credit to what you owe, and, suddenly, you don't owe anything. If you owe the government $1,000 in taxes, and you have two kids, all of a sudden the government owes you $1,000.
Yeah. That's fair.
Actually, what's fair is the Flat Tax, of which I am a huge fucking proponent of. I sure as hell don't believe that just because you make more money, you should have to pay a higher percentage of your income in taxes. And, conversely, I don't believe you should get a break on your taxes just because you have kids. Hell, when you get right down to it, I think breeders should have to pay a higher percentage of their income in taxes. After all, who uses more government services? Breeders and their little hell-spawn, or non-breeders and their pets?
Speaking of using (and abusing) government services, since the advent of LBJ's "Great Society", people (and by "people", I mean "white middle class") have complained that the welfare system actually encourages poor people to have more children in order to get more money.
And you know what? Whitey has a point. It's not fair to give a welfare mother more money just because she's popped out another little leech to suck off the government teat. If anything, we should charge them for every kid they have. Maybe then they'd learn the value of keeping their legs together, since we're obviously not teaching them the value of a dollar.
However, I've yet to hear anyone, of any race, complain about the Child Tax Credit. Funny thing, that silence-- since the Child Tax Credit, just like that evil welfare system-- actually encourages people to have children. Except, instead of an extra $50 or so a month, you get an extra $1,000 taken off your taxes every year.
Thanks, President Bush. But, if you don't mind, I'd like my tax cuts rolled back, please. Because as it stands right now, the only thing getting cut under your plan is my rectum.
No, this time I'm talking about his "supposed" tax cuts. Remember those? Dubya got on national TV and promised that everyone was going to benefit from his new tax plan. Not just rich white folk, but even poor, non-white, non-Christians would find a big surprise when they did their taxes this year.
Well, guess what? I just did my taxes this weekend, and, boy, was I surprised. Why? Certainly not because of a bigger refund, that's for damn sure. No, I was surprised to find out I owe even more money this year than last year!!!
What the fuck is going on here, people?!?
How is it possible for the government to pass the biggest tax cut in recent memory, and my wife and I not benefit one single goddamn red, white, or blue cent?
I'll tell you how:
1. We're not rich enough to benefit from all the loopholes still rampant in the tax code.
2. We're not breeders.
That's right. The little woman and I have yet to reproduce. And because of my willingness to pull out and/or wear a piece of rubber on my dick, we're being punished.
Special breaks for breeders are nothing new. They've always been able to claim a deduction for every kid they pop out. But now they're also getting an additional tax credit on their return. A credit that, if Bush has his way and his tax cuts are made permanent, will increase to an ungodly $1,000 per child over the next few years!
And lest you think I'm being petty, remember, a credit isn't the same as some pussy little deduction. A credit is something you can apply toward your total tax return.
For example: If you owe the government $1,000 in taxes, and you have a kid, you can apply the Child Tax Credit to what you owe, and, suddenly, you don't owe anything. If you owe the government $1,000 in taxes, and you have two kids, all of a sudden the government owes you $1,000.
Yeah. That's fair.
Actually, what's fair is the Flat Tax, of which I am a huge fucking proponent of. I sure as hell don't believe that just because you make more money, you should have to pay a higher percentage of your income in taxes. And, conversely, I don't believe you should get a break on your taxes just because you have kids. Hell, when you get right down to it, I think breeders should have to pay a higher percentage of their income in taxes. After all, who uses more government services? Breeders and their little hell-spawn, or non-breeders and their pets?
Speaking of using (and abusing) government services, since the advent of LBJ's "Great Society", people (and by "people", I mean "white middle class") have complained that the welfare system actually encourages poor people to have more children in order to get more money.
And you know what? Whitey has a point. It's not fair to give a welfare mother more money just because she's popped out another little leech to suck off the government teat. If anything, we should charge them for every kid they have. Maybe then they'd learn the value of keeping their legs together, since we're obviously not teaching them the value of a dollar.
However, I've yet to hear anyone, of any race, complain about the Child Tax Credit. Funny thing, that silence-- since the Child Tax Credit, just like that evil welfare system-- actually encourages people to have children. Except, instead of an extra $50 or so a month, you get an extra $1,000 taken off your taxes every year.
Thanks, President Bush. But, if you don't mind, I'd like my tax cuts rolled back, please. Because as it stands right now, the only thing getting cut under your plan is my rectum.
artid
2248
Old Image
6_8_taxes.jpg
issue
vol 6 - issue 08 (apr 2004)
section
stories