FPHATTY'S CHRISTMAS CHEER!

HERE ARE A COUPLE NEW HOLIDAY TUNES YOU CAN TRY WHEN YOU GO OUT CAROLING THIS SEASON. MAKE SURE YOU XEROX THIS FOR ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS IN THE CHOIR!
“HAVE A SLUTTY, HUSSY CHRISTMAS”
(sung to the tune of “Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas”)
Have a slutty, hussy Christmas.
It’s the best time of the year.
I don’t know if you’re a ho,
But I’ll fuck you in the ear!
Have a skanky, spanky Christmas.
And when you walk down the street,
Say “Hello” to pimps you know,
And all the ones you meet.
Ho, ho, I’m quite the show,
I’m hung well -- look and see.
My candy cane waits for you,
Kiss it once for me!
Have a whorey, horny Christmas,
And in case you didn’t hear:
Oh by golly spread some STD for
Christmas this year!
“THE LIQUOR SONG”
(sung to the tune of “The Chipmunk Song”)
Christmas, Christmas time is near,
Time for rum and time for beer!
The wagon’s nice but I can’t last,
Hurry, barkeep, hurry fast.
Buy a round for my whole group,
Gin on my pie and in my soup!
Sobriety is such a waste,
Please top me off in haste!