MARIO WINANS - HURT NO MORE

Oh, Mario Winans... you make me feel so sad. I’m really getting very tired of writing negative reviews, and I was determined to write a positive one this month. You look like a nice young man; I saw your photo on the cover of your new album, Hurt No More. And I don’t want to hurt you; I really don’t. I was ready to take on the persona of a peace-loving Fphatty but, damn, you make it hard, because it turns out you can’t sing. Not only that, but it seems you can’t write or sample music very well, either.
In an effort to be nice, I’ve put on some soothing world music to keep me calm and collected during this critique. And I’m in the lotus position. Yes, indeed, I can feel my chi, and it’s telling me to tell you that your voice is weak. It also said that the music on Hurt No More is a bit on the non-creative and trite side. Now my chi is telling me to drink some chai.
Fair thee well, Mario Winans. May your spirit be at harmony with the universe, and your diet be lactose-free.