NOW PLAYING: RED DEAD REVOLVER

Player One: Staff Member #716
(I\'m informative, Bork is nuts. That\'s just how it is.)
Like any form of media, video games can be divided into a number of different genres, some of which are more popular than others. Games can be classified not only by how they are played (action, strategy, racing, etc.), but also by their tone and subject matter. Science fiction is definitely the most popular, with fantasy, horror, martial arts, and sports as distant runners-up.
A genre that seems to have been nearly overlooked by the video game world is the Western. Red Dead Revolver is not only the first Western game that I can think of besides Mad Dog McCree, but it embodies an even more specific subgenre: the cheesy, 1970\'s Sergio Leone Spaghetti Western. And in that respect, Red Dead Revolver is dripping with style, from the grainy film quality and not-quite-right Technicolor of the entire game, to the strange likeness Red bears to Clint Eastwood (though he sounds more like Spike Spiegel from Cowboy Bebop-- a badass in his own right, but a different kind of badass). The opening theme song is the kind of stuff that would make Quentin Tarantino orgasm: a guitar/military drum/mariachi trumpet/harmonica combo that hasn’t been heard in a film since The Good, The Bad And The Ugly.
(Turns out I just made a damn fine analogy, since a quick bit of research revealed that the game’s soundtrack was scored by Ennio Morricone, whose music was lifted and used in Kill Bill. Morricone was the composer for about a billion Spaghetti Westerns, including A Fistful Of Dollars, Once Upon A Time In The West, and wrote what is quite possibly the most recognizable bit of music ever, the theme from the aforementioned The Good, The Bad And The Ugly.)
Yeah, the game’s got style in spades. Too bad the actual gameplay is so subpar. It’s not really like any one thing about it is terrible, but a lot of little problems came together that kept me from really enjoying it. Red Dead... is a hell of a game to look at, but it’s kind of a beast to play. Still, it’s got me wondering what other subgenres the video game market has yet to tap into. Legal thriller? Dark comedy? Blaxploitation? Guess I’ll have to wait and see.
Player Two: Das Bork
Bad Religion-- I mean, uh, Red Dead Revolver is cool in concept, but rapes the villagers in gameplay. Seriously, these villagers didn’t even see it coming. I mean, you could shoot a guy in the head a billion times, and he\'ll just laugh at you and shoot his pistol in the air every two minutes.
On the sloppy side of life, the controls are sloppy seconds to the impossible headshot. I can’t hit crap with these controls. It\'s hard to even figure out how and what walls to hide behind. When you do, it hardly seems to do you any good. I just end up runnin\' around shootin\' everything with no cover. It\'s bulltits, man. Just bulltits.
One thing I do like, though, is the Quick Draw game. Me and 716 had some fun with this. I challenge anyone reading this to try and take on that blonde chick in the Quick Draw. She is tough as all hell. Me and 716 would gang up on her, and she’d still win.
All in all, this game is fun to look at, but lacks in fun. Hell, Rockstar Games made this, so I think it would have been cool if they made this game just like Grand Theft Auto. That’s it from Bork. Catch you guys later. Now go eat something delicious.