LETTERS FROM A PUTZ: THE ROBOCUT

WHERE OUR MADCAP MAN OF THE HOUR GOES POSTAL AND GETS FRANK WITH KNUCKLEHEADS IN HIGH PLACES.
This month frank wrote to the people at the ROBOCUT VACUUM HAIRCUTTER - better than the Flowbee!
Dear RoboCutters,
I just wanted to take this brief opportunity to thank you for your tremendously fabulous product-- the RoboCut Vacuum Cut System. Never in my life did I think I would ever find a cheap, affordable manner of giving my twelve albino hamsters or myself a quality haircut. The money I've saved from going to the bathhouse for my monthly scrotum shearings has already enabled the RoboCut to pay for itself. However, the best thing about it is the wonderful power your product and accompanying website has given me to get strange, desirable women naked. When I saw the product picture on your website showing the voluptuous, undressed backside of a woman receiving a RoboCut, I knew that you were on to something. I immediately ordered the product and set out to find a gullible bar slut who would be willing to come home with me for a free haircut. When I finally found a nubile, young hottie and got her to my love lair, I convinced her that removing her top would afford her the best possible haircut. She resisted at first, but when I showed her the picture she readily agreed. Sure, I absolutely butchered her coif, giving her an abhorrent cut that brought to mind Mr. T in a concentration camp, but, hell, she was totally butt-ass naked! You guys rule!
Sincerely,
frank putzerelli
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