NOW PLAYING: SPLINTER CELL: PANDORA TOMORROW

Player One: Staff Member #716
I mentioned last month that I hate stealth games. Not just one or two specific examples, but the genre as a whole. I mean, it really comes down to a matter of taste; if you’re the type of gamer who can find enjoyment in crouching patiently in the shadows, waiting for the split second when that guard turns his head so that you can sneak up and snap his neck without making a sound, then you probably shouldn’t listen to me. But I just don’t have the patience for it. I find stealth games to be more of a pain in the ass than they are enjoyable.
I do have to admit, though, if there were a franchise to make me change my mind, Splinter Cell would be it. Stealth games, by definition, are all about not being seen, and Splinter Cell\'s Sam Fisher has a million different tricks up his sleeve to do exactly that. He can jump up and brace himself in narrow openings. He can shoot out light bulbs to give himself more darkness to hide in. He can grab pipes along the ceiling and pull his legs up out of sight. He can even hang upside-down from said pipes by his legs and shoot a guy with his silenced pistol. Honestly, you can hide virtually anywhere as long as you’re resourceful enough to make yourself unseen.
It’s gameplay options like this that really make me realize that last month’s Manhunt was just a piece of shit wrapped in a cool visual style. Sam Fisher actually has the ability to hide, whereas playing as Manhunt’s James Earl Cash was like trying to sneak around in a giant, noisy, slow-as-fuck dump truck. I personally won’t be playing either of these games any more than I have to, since sitting motionless in the shadows just isn’t my thing. But if you thought the Metal Gear Solid series was kinda fun, then Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow should be your nirvana.
Player Two: Das Biotch Bork
Staff Member #716 talked about all the first player stuff, which is fine and dandy. But, lovers of my butt, the online multiplayer game is freakin\' awesome! Here\'s the skinny: You get to play as a mercenary or a spy in a two-versus-two hunt.
If this was Metal Gear, the mercs are the dummies hunting down Solid Snake. There are times where you will feel pretty dumb hunting down these spies. I mean, you’ll be looking around frantically, and all of the sudden they snap your neck! I never thought that would be possible in a multiplayer game. Splinter Cell made a multiplayer stealth game work.
Did I mention this game features a headset microphone to talk to your teammates? Well, as with the aforementioned neck-snapping, the spies can put you in a sleeper hold before they kill you, and when they do that, they can use the mic to say something to you before they break your bloody neck! Crazy! The mercs can do the same. If you knock a spy out, you can say something into their ear before you put a bullet in their head!
This game is full of fun little things; the spies get really cool gadgets. They have something called a \"spy bullet\". When you shoot a merc with this bullet, it tags them and you can follow their whereabouts on your radar. And my favorite part about it? When you press the \"Select\" button, you can hear what they are saying to each other!
Remember, these are real people you are playing against, and you can actually fool them! It\'s nuts! It’s fun! Man, I am about to retire from playing SOCOM and pick up this, instead. However, if you have been playing SOCOM for a while, it is a tough game to adjust to because you do have to be really patient. Also, it hurts your eyes a bit because of changing from night vision to thermal vision all the time. Other than that, this game is apple pie!