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22 December 2023
TRUE STORIES OF HEROES' BRAVE BATTLES
BRAVE SOUL OF SEPTEMBER 2001: JOHN PINETTE
This month we talk with comedian John Pinette about a gaseous situation.
darby: John, tell us about your brave feat.
John: Well, darby, I’ve had a gas problem for a long time. I was starting to lose friends. I don’t mean that they wouldn’t be my friends anymore. I mean I almost killed two friends. It’s still hard to talk about. I had tried to do something about my gas. I even went to a doctor. He said, “We can try something over the counter, like Gas-X.” Then, I had a gas attack in his office. Here’s a man that deals with trauma patients, and my gas caused him to gag.
Having nearly killed his own doctor, John was prescribed with a strong medication for his gas. With the new medication, John’s gas problem was no more. Or was it? Unfortunately for John, a dark, stinky fart was on its way.
J: I thought my gas problem was beat, but I forgot to take my gas medication one day. Some friends and I were driving back from Taco Bell. I had a Seven-Layer Burrito. Looking back, I should have said, “Nay-nay!”
Having not said, “Nay-nay,” John now had a Seven-Layer Burrito of death in him. Gas was starting to build. Would he be able to make it back to the house in time? Would his friends survive his deadly blast of gas?
J: It was wintertime. The windows were rolled up and the heat was on.
Not being able to hold it any longer, John does the unthinkable.
d: What did you do?
J: I passed gas. Before I could even say excuse me, we hit a guardrail. My friend Kenny was in the driver’s seat, but he wasn’t moving. But he wasn’t dead. Apparently, the sound of my fart was so loud he thought he had been shot. My friend Billy was in the back seat and he got the worst of it. It hit him like nerve gas. He had childproof windows so they wouldn’t go down! He passed out and remembers walking toward a bright light. He saw his grandfather in a white robe. He was yelling at him, “Go back! He just farted!” I managed to get the door open and pull them out. They said I was a hero. But it was really my fault.
IF YOU HAVE A FEAT OF BRAVERY YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, EMAIL DARBY AT DARBY@TLCHICKEN.COM
BRAVE SOUL OF SEPTEMBER 2001: JOHN PINETTE
This month we talk with comedian John Pinette about a gaseous situation.
darby: John, tell us about your brave feat.
John: Well, darby, I’ve had a gas problem for a long time. I was starting to lose friends. I don’t mean that they wouldn’t be my friends anymore. I mean I almost killed two friends. It’s still hard to talk about. I had tried to do something about my gas. I even went to a doctor. He said, “We can try something over the counter, like Gas-X.” Then, I had a gas attack in his office. Here’s a man that deals with trauma patients, and my gas caused him to gag.
Having nearly killed his own doctor, John was prescribed with a strong medication for his gas. With the new medication, John’s gas problem was no more. Or was it? Unfortunately for John, a dark, stinky fart was on its way.
J: I thought my gas problem was beat, but I forgot to take my gas medication one day. Some friends and I were driving back from Taco Bell. I had a Seven-Layer Burrito. Looking back, I should have said, “Nay-nay!”
Having not said, “Nay-nay,” John now had a Seven-Layer Burrito of death in him. Gas was starting to build. Would he be able to make it back to the house in time? Would his friends survive his deadly blast of gas?
J: It was wintertime. The windows were rolled up and the heat was on.
Not being able to hold it any longer, John does the unthinkable.
d: What did you do?
J: I passed gas. Before I could even say excuse me, we hit a guardrail. My friend Kenny was in the driver’s seat, but he wasn’t moving. But he wasn’t dead. Apparently, the sound of my fart was so loud he thought he had been shot. My friend Billy was in the back seat and he got the worst of it. It hit him like nerve gas. He had childproof windows so they wouldn’t go down! He passed out and remembers walking toward a bright light. He saw his grandfather in a white robe. He was yelling at him, “Go back! He just farted!” I managed to get the door open and pull them out. They said I was a hero. But it was really my fault.
IF YOU HAVE A FEAT OF BRAVERY YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, EMAIL DARBY AT DARBY@TLCHICKEN.COM
artid
209
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issue
vol 4 - issue 01 (sep 2001)
section
stories