admin
22 December 2023
I'm no prude, believe you me. I'm a fun girl; spontaneity and adventure course through my veins to the max. I'm so darn crazy about fun and adventure, I'll swim in arctic water; travel across the country on a whim; eat at Taco Bell twice in one day; the works. All for a fun new experience. However, there are a few things out there I hope never happen to me, no matter how much character they build:
1. I hope I never have to scrape all that dark and creamy toe jam from under my nails and eat it on a Ritz cracker.
2. I hope I never get out of the shower only to catch the moist skin of the ball of my foot on a nail, exposing the tender pink flesh. Then I hope I don't pull the sides of the lesion in opposite directions, ripping the throbbing gash down to the bone.
3. I hope nobody ever rips my fingernails off and then grinds the raw, juicy wound with sandpaper.
4. I hope I never have to bite a ripe pimple on someone's neck and have to suck out the pus.
5. I hope I never drink a two-liter bottle full of loogies.
6. I hope I never open my mouth, only to have diarrhea bubble up from my throat and spill out all over my shirt.
1. I hope I never have to scrape all that dark and creamy toe jam from under my nails and eat it on a Ritz cracker.
2. I hope I never get out of the shower only to catch the moist skin of the ball of my foot on a nail, exposing the tender pink flesh. Then I hope I don't pull the sides of the lesion in opposite directions, ripping the throbbing gash down to the bone.
3. I hope nobody ever rips my fingernails off and then grinds the raw, juicy wound with sandpaper.
4. I hope I never have to bite a ripe pimple on someone's neck and have to suck out the pus.
5. I hope I never drink a two-liter bottle full of loogies.
6. I hope I never open my mouth, only to have diarrhea bubble up from my throat and spill out all over my shirt.
artid
215
Old Image
4_1_zits.swf
issue
vol 4 - issue 01 (sep 2001)
section
stories