REFORM

How we deal with crime in America has been getting to me. It could be the wall-to-wall coverage that it gets in the media. It could be the sobbing shrink giving excuses for those who commit horrible crimes. It could be the lack of remorse, disrespect for authority, or blasé attitude towards a prison sentence combined with a weak and politically corrupt judicial system. There is wrong and there is right. I don’t need laws to tell me the difference. But for some reason, a staggering amount of dipshits do. Those who do not possess the basic common sense to abide by the laws should suffer the consequences of their actions. Why should those who lead good lives within the laws be burdened by those that refuse? I have a few swell ideas to fix this. They might even save us some tax money! Doing a stretch in the joint wouldn’t be such a badge of honor if it weren’t just like home! Make Cuba the new Devil’s Island. Nobody wants to live there anyway, and Castro’s time is up. Set up cameras so we can have a Survivor worth watching. Cubans can live in empty prisons for a minimal cost. Anything is better than the shitholes they live in now. This would also eliminate the possibility of another Elian fiasco. If you have been convicted of a violent crime, see ya! It’s off to Survivor: Cuba! Why should murderers and rapists be afforded any humanity when they have taken it from others? If the sob sisters that lobby for criminal rights want to “help” the vile fucks, let them keep them in their house with their family! Don’t cry to me when you come home from work to find your family neatly packed in the freezer and your special house guest fucking the family dog. Next, re-open Alcatraz and other closed prisons around the US and use them as energy-producing prisons. Cons are always so keen on working out, so why shouldn’t we benefit from it? Those who are incarcerated for non-violent crimes can spend their time on stationary bikes producing energy like rats 12 hours a day. Feed them shittier food, nutritional enough to sustain but less tasty than an average school lunch. Run it like they do in Turkey. No cable. No air conditioning. No comforts. How about medical testing on violent third-time offenders? The average prisoner uses over $40,000 of your tax money a year. Why not get something out of it like a cure for AIDS or cancer? It’s better than using cute fuzzy bunnies and chimps, because humans can tell you where it hurts. I’m not a crazed PETA member, but I do find more compassion for animals than I do most humans who can’t discern right from wrong. No more excuses. Now, some of these assholes are sick. But that in no way lessens the crime or punishment they deserve. Listen up, head quacks, and shove that tiny violin up your compassionate ass! Depression is not a reason or excuse to kill five innocent children. Inability to keep a job because “The Man” holds you down is not an excuse to shoot a mother of three working the night shift at 7-11. It’s not discrimination. It’s called being a lazy fuck! Raping women because your mommy didn’t love you is not an excuse. Wrong is wrong, no matter what twisted world you may have made up in your head. You are to blame and you should pay. You think my ideas are harsh? Well talk to me after some “poor, socially and mentally troubled person” hurts you or someone you love. Violent criminals aren’t insane. We are for letting them get away with it.