A NEW LEASE ON LIFE

I rearranged my room again today. I usually do it about once a month. I have to do it. It’s an obsession. The anal-retentive part of me does it in order to straighten things up and to get organized. The other part of me-- the part that gets bored easily and needs constant stimulation-- rearranges in order to have a new room, a new space to live in, another new start to life, I guess. I was actually informed only a few moments ago that I might have to rearrange my things again,..and into another apartment. My roommate is moving out and the landlord has decided not to renew the lease with only me on it. This was a little bit more of a new start than I was expecting. Being kicked out of my apartment isn’t really a positive way to start things off. At first I was pissed, but I guess I don’t care, really. I’ve gotten used to being tossed from one house to another since my divorce and all. And like I said before: I like change. A new place to live, new people to meet, new experiences to look forward to. I don’t understand those people who can live in the same house, in the same town, with the same people for their entire lives. The world is so damn big and there are so many more things out there to see. Sometimes I just sit back and think of all of the places there are in the world and how each one is unique. And what makes me sick is the fact that we only get one life, and most of it is wasted on redundant days in front of a computer screen (or whatever shitty job we have) where we let eight hours of our life slip slowly by and pile into years of work and stress. “Yawn!” is all I can say about lives like this. Whoever thought up the concept of human beings needing to work an eight hour day, five days a week, was a complete idiot. Five out of seven days a week I come here and waste my life away. That’s insane. I’m only 20, and I am already sick of spending my life in an office for so damn long. How the fuck am I going to feel when I’m 40? It scares me. I want to experience new countries, new cultures, new people, new foods, new songs, new climates and new ways of thinking. And then I don’t want to have to fucking worry if I have enough vacation time accrued. I’m sick of having a life and not being able to use it.