THE URGE

The urge to set yourself free and run can sometimes be so overwhelming that nothing short of your own strongest fears can keep you from doing it. You want to throw everything you know behind you and face a new world that does not know you. A world that has no background information to judge you. No way to make you live up to the expectations people once held for you. You want so badly to redefine yourself and make life the exciting adventure you always thought it was supposed to be. It's not that the old life was bad. Not at all, really. Things are good. You have friends, family, a job, and a future. But they are set and no longer change as rapidly as they once did. That's the real catch. The redundancy, even of things that bring happiness, can be felt as binders and blinders. The want to throw off that responsibility is great. It happens to everybody, and some of us act on it and run, take off into a world that is there to teach us who we are and what we are made of. Think about it: a new place. It could be the other side of the town you currently live in or the other side of the globe, but it's new and different and full of unknowns. Everything is a puzzle to figure out and you have the advantage of having been through it before, but this time you can be more picky. Choosing the people that you want and not the ones that were forced into your situation by school or work. When you talk to them you can remake yourself the way you want. Maybe you've always wanted to be a bit more outgoing and carefree. Do it now. Nobody will know that you hadn't been before. Think about your new home. You can decorate it the way you always wanted to. Maybe in that minimal fashion where the bed is just a mattress on the floor and the walls are painted bright red. The living room consisting of nothing but a big throw rug and a bunch of pillows. The walls have no rock band posters on them. Just beautiful black and white photos that you took yourself. All the dishes in your kitchen match, but best of all there are only a few of them. Enough for yourself and maybe one other person. And your new job. One that makes you feel like you and not some number in a crowd. A job in a coffee shop or a book store. Something quiet that lets you concentrate on what you'll do when you get off work. You don't have to be what everyone expected you to be. So what that you spent all that money on college. There's plenty of time later in life to be a boring, career-minded loss. And then, what do you do when the new found life and adventure becomes redundant and stable? Run again? Maybe. Or maybe you make a stand and adapt your attitude. It doesn't always have to be so physical.