PERFECT STRANGER, OR PERFECT LONG-DISTANCE SERVICE ARRANGER?

With the recent outbreak of quick-dial long-distance call savings plans, it’s no wonder that up-and-coming long-distance provider Nextweek Communications has come up with their own easy-to-remember long-distance phone code. Next time you have to make a long distance call, just dial 10-10-578. Then hit your mom in the head with a wrench, sacrifice your firstborn child upon the altar of Cathulu, put your cat in the microwave for 45 seconds, walk around the block twice, clip your toenails, remove the cat from the microwave, sharpen a #2 pencil and be sure to erase all stray marks completely. It’s that simple! Calls will only cost a low, low $1.75 per minute ($4.25 on weekends and holidays). What’s more, Bronson Pinchot (whose acting career unexpectedly ended after his astonishing performance in Beverly Hills Cop 3) will be providing hilarious testimonials in the advertising campaign for Nextweek’s 10-10-578 Plus Plan.