DAVE HOLMES

AFTER JOINING THE MUSIC TELEVISION NETWORK'S ESTEEMED POP CULTURE RANKS, HE ESTABLISHED HIS REPUTATION AS A MAN WITH ENOUGH MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE TO GIVE EVEN THE SHARPEST OF MUSIC HISTORIANS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN'S DARBY O'GILL TOOK TO THE PHONE LINES FOR A CHAT WITH THE WALKING MUSIC LIBRARY KNOWN AS DAVE HOLMES.
darby: Let me start by congratulating you on not winning the Be A VJ Contest, but still getting the job. I got so pissed because you clearly had more talent than that freak Jessie Camp.
Dave: Well, thank you very much. It all worked out for the best. I kind of had a feeling it would.
d: Did MTV just approach you afterwards?
D: Yeah, kind of all throughout, actually. I don’t think anyone actually expected me to get as far as I did, because I’m not really a character type. But I had been eating Ramen noodles long enough to not pass up a chance to make some connections. So, I was talking to all the production people, trying to get myself a writing gig or something. I had a good feeling I was going to be working at some capacity here. One of the things I was interviewing for was a hosting gig for a show called I Spy Video. Over the course of a month of screen tests and pilots, I still got picked up and got attached to it. Everything seemed to take off from there.
d: Was it hard making the move from radio to MTV?
D: Yeah, it was. What I was doing previously was sketch and improv, and that’s what I really enjoyed doing. I thought if anything was going to take off, it was going to be through that. There was only one thing I hated doing and that was talking to the audience. I couldn’t stand it. But suddenly I had to. That was sort of the first thing that hit me. But within a week I started to really enjoy it.
d: Now that you have been a part of the MTV family for some time, are there any crazy things that have happened?
D: There’s no one crazy thing; like people don’t run down the halls naked or anything like that. It’s just sort of an overall dorm type of tone. There’s always tons of music coming out of every office. Everybody is under 30, and it’s like we’ve just extended our college years. The people around here are just super, super cool. But there aren’t keg parties in the offices or anything like that. Actually that’s not true. There have been keg parties.
d: What would you say is the best part of working there?
D: The fact that it’s just constantly changing. We’re always just sort of looking for the next thing. It’s kind of nice to be in a building that’s sort of the epicenter of what ever pop culture earthquake is going on at the moment. It’s kind of like the Washington, D.C. of pop culture.
d: Speaking of the next thing, is the office all abuzz with the new show Jackass?
D: I don’t want to like it, but I do. I watch it every week.
d: I feel the same way.
D: I know! I don’t want to encourage this kind of behavior, yet I can’t take my eyes off it. I was determined not to watch it, because I thought it was stupid. When it first came out I was like, “Oh, God. I’m not going to watch this!” Then that guy beat up his dad all day, and I was sold. So I watch it every week. And I truly think no matter how many disclaimers they put on there, some idiot is going to videotape himself doing something really stupid and die.
d: And it will be the Beavis & Butthead thing all over again.
D: Exactly.
d: It’s well known that you have an impressive knowledge of music trivia.
D: It’s always been my thing. A lot of guys can recite sport statistics and nobody raises an eyebrow, because it’s just what’s expected from boys. I never really gave a shit about sports. Music was always my thing.
d: Well, we here at tastes like chicken have an ongoing question, and were hoping you could take a crack at it.
D: Oh, boy!
d: Do dogs have lips?
D: They do! Big black ones. Which is really weird, because I actually asked that question to myself when I had a dog as a child. I looked at this dog’s mouth and was like, “What the hell is going on there?” So, one day I just tackled him and went into the headlock. So, yeah! Big black lips with weird gums.
d: Now, for the follow-up question: Was it you that let the dogs out?
D: (laughing) It was not! I tried very hard to keep the dogs in.
d: Do you have a favorite video?
D: What do I think is the coolest one? You know what, “Praise You” from Fatboy Slim. It’s just really funny, smart and cool. They took it somewhere you didn’t expect them to take it.
d: Speaking of The Simpsons--
D: --Are we going to start talking about The Simpsons, because I could go on all day.
d: Who is your favorite Simpsons character?
D: I’m such a Ralph Wiggum guy. Actually, you know what? Ralph Wiggum and Monty Burns. I love Montgomery Burns. I like the fact that they are rarely the focal characters. They’re like salt, you know? You never want a whole plate of salt, but a little salt on something is very tasty.
d: What’s your favorite movie of all time?
D: Waiting For Guffman. It’s a classic.
d: G.I. Joe or Transformers?
D: Transformers. Because they really are more than meets the eye!
d: Beastie Boys or Backstreet Boys?
D: I hated the Beastie Boys when they first came out. I was in high school and it seemed like everyone had them. They were like the Limp Bizkit of the time, and it bugged the shit out of me. I also doubt the Backstreet Boys are ever going to take it to the next level. So, if I had to make a choice, I’d say, “Oh God. Beastie Boys.”
d: The general consensus around the tastes like chicken office is that Clint Howard is a sexy bitch. Would you agree?
D: Wow! I have to disagree. I really do. He’s a scary looking motherfucker! But if scary motherfuckers are your thing, then by all means. He’s just not my type.
d: What’s next for you, Dave Holmes? Are there any movies in the future?
D: You know what, I want to be the first person in the world to just be happy where I am. I acted before. I’d like to act again, or do some things here and there. But I’m not the type to carry a movie. I know that. I kind of came into hosting through this bizarre detour my life took, and I happen to really like it. If I’m hosting game shows for the rest of my life, it maybe goofy, but hooray for that. Hosts that can keep a show going, and enjoy what they host, seem to be in short supply. I’m happy that I’m here.