FEATS OF BRAVERY: MR. X

TRUE STORIES OF HEROES' BRAVE BATTLES
BRAVE SOUL OF OCTOBER 2000: MR. X


This month, darby traveled back to his hometown of Boston to get the lowdown on a man with a very strange fetish. For legal reasons, we can’t disclose the man’s name, but you can find a photo of Jason Hudson above.
darby: Mr. X, please tell us about this rather unusual fetish of yours?
X: Well, I like video games.
d: I see. Video games of a sexual nature?
X: No. Just plain old video games. You know-- like Grand Turismo and Quake.
d: I seem to be missing the “fetish” part of your story.
X: Well, when I lose, I like to snuggle with a teddy bear. It comforts me.
d: Ah, there it is. Go on, sissy boy.
X: People don’t know the stress video games can have on you. Before I started hugging teddy bears, I had a hard time going to work after a bad night of FF8.


For those of us with lives, FF8 stands for Final Fantasy VIII. We had to look that up.
d: You were missing work because of a video game? And you wanted to share that with us?
X: No. I wanted to let the other people out there like myself know there is a cure.
d: Does it involve a single round or noose of some kind?
While Mr. X tries to pick up on my subtle point, let me take this time to talk about the victims of this fetish: the teddy bears. They are an unwilling participant in this act. No one asked Mr. Floppies if he wanted to be part of this unholy event. We must take it upon ourselves to return these bears to their rightful owners: little girls.
wayne: Isn’t that a little unfair, darby? I mean, Mr. X is just coping with a loss.
darby: He’s a loser, wayne! Did you see that guy? He plays with teddy bears! That’s creepy.
w: Well, I’m just saying,..
d: Do you play video games, wayne?
w: Yeah.
d: How many teddy bears do you own?
w: Thanks for the report, darby. As always, very informative.
d: You’re going to go upstairs and hug a bear right now, aren’t you?
IF YOU HAVE A FEAT OF BRAVERY YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE, EMAIL DARBY AT DARBY@TLCHICKEN.COM