CHILD LABOR OR PRODUCTIVE PLAY?

There is a cancer growing in our country today. It came to our attention last year when Kathie Lee Gifford (better known as “Satan”) was believed to have had her Kmart line of clothing produced at a Mexican sweatshop. We all remember Kathie Lee and her son, Cody. In fact, many of Cody’s second-grade friends helped make those clothes. With the way things seem to be going, it looks like something needs to be done. But who’s going to do it? Can the economy afford to take it on? Will Congress pass a law against it? Whatever happened to Crystal Pepsi? Does Clinton only like ugly chicks? As of today, all these questions have gone unanswered. But can a small humor paper really make a difference? It wasn’t until recently that we here at tastes like chicken felt something must be done, and that it was up to us to save our fair country! That is how we came up with the Productive Play Placement (PPP): a program that encourages kids to “play” in situations that are fun and productive at the same time. The kids don’t even know they’re working! Here’s how it works: we take a job like making clothes and, instead of telling the little rugrats to get to work, we tell them we’re going to play a little game. First, take Mr. Needle and put him in Mr. Fabric. Then, repeat until Mr. Fabric becomes Mr. Shirt. Wow, wasn’t that fun? Kids will be lining up around the block to play this game. Most sweatshops are already doing it! We are very proud of our new program and already have some big companies on board. Exxon will be unveiling new see-saw oil pump rigs, due out sometime this December. And this spring, Folgers will be announcing their new PPP program, Find The Peanut. Kids go out in the bean fields and look for a peanut among all of the coffee beans. The one lucky kid to find the peanut gets the next day off. Isn’t that great?
wayne: No, darby. That sounds horrible. It’s child labor!
darby: No, wayne. It’s “Productive Play.”
w: But you just said the kid that finds the peanut gets the next day off. Doesn’t that sound like work?
d: There is no peanut, wayne. It’s a coffee field. There’s nothing out there but coffee beans.
wayne: Good work, darby.
darby: Thanks.