I AM THE MAN IN THIS LEATHER JACKET!

Yeah, you know me. I'm the guy in the leather jacket. The one you've been looking at all night. I can see in your eyes how badly you want my attention. And believe me, I understand. If I were in your shoes, I'd want MY attention, too. Hell-- if I were in ANYONE'S shoes, I’d want MY attention.
It comes with the territory, you know? God gave me a lot of really great things: I make an impressive salary; I wear the best clothes; I look good (even first thing in the morning, wink-wink!). And some of my friends might tell you I'm quite the comedian. Plus, and I don't mean to brag, but I can bench press about 300 lbs. It's how I got this chiseled physique.
So here I am: single, at a bar, on a Friday night. And there you are: single, hot, and at the same bar, wanting me. You probably noticed the leather jacket first. Most people do. It was pretty expensive. And just so you know, I bought mine WAY before all these other guys at the bar wearing leather jackets. And if you don't believe me, I'll call my boy Zach on my cell phone. He'll tell you I was first. Everyone else is just sweating my style.
Say-- while I have my celly out, can I put your digits in here? I'll call you. I swear.