LETTERS FROM A PUTZ: POOPIE HEAD RALPH

WHERE THE SON OF OUR MADCAP MAN OF THE HOUR GOES RETARDED AND GETS POOPY WITH DUMMIES.
This month jimmy wrote to the dummy known as Ralph.
Dear Poopie Head Ralph,
I hate your stinky guts becuz you are a smelly fish head. I canot help it if I am two big for sumone who is only nine-years-old. Peepel always make fun of me for beeing fat and stupid, but I am not. My Daddy sez I am just misunnerstood and I am in a faze. Then you and crap face Bobby kick me in the nuts untill pudding comes out of my nose. Why do you always kick me wen I eat pudding?
Now I am paying you back. I peed in your drink at lunch when you looked away. Then I broked into your house and ate your hamster. He tryd to bite me, so I peed on him two. Your ass face bruther came in wile I was eating your stupid pee hamster, so I kicked him and peed on him two. He cried a bunch. Your mom came in and asked me to pee on her two but I sayed, "You should ask Mr. Ralph to do that."
"Mr. Ralph wonnt pee on me, Jimmy" she sayed. "Please please I beg you and stuff. I will give you my underwear and cookies if you pee on my head becuz Mr. Ralph wonnt pee on my head"
I says, “I bet he does becuz he is stupid and looks like a monkey turd.”
Then I peed on your Mom to shut her up. I sure had a lot of pee that day.
Anyways, I am writing you becuz you smell.
You are dumm,
Jimmy
PS: I like your mommies underwear.
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