IT'S STORY-TIME!

Last Friday, I went to a storybook reading at my local library. Even though I think the whole thing was for babies, I still had a good time. First, everyone warmed up with a round of "The Wheels On The Bus," as performed by the great Raffi. Even though the driver spends half the song yelling at people, and the bumps in the road send the passengers flying all over the place, I think the song ends on a happy note. If anything, it teaches us to be nicer to each other. It also is a reminder that we should write to our congressman about the condition of our city's roads. After that, we heard a story called Big Fat Hen. It was educational like Sesame Street, except without that stupid Elmo thing. I hate Elmo. Big Fat Hen was written like that counting game where you go, "1, 2-- buckle my shoe." Only, at the end of this one, there's a big fat hen. I enjoyed this little tale, but I still like the Freddy Kreuger counting song better. The second story read to us was The Chick And The Duckling, an old Russian folktale. It's about this baby chick and baby duckling that were born at the same time. The duck would do something, and the chick would copy it. That all worked out for the chick, until he tried to follow the duckling into water. While the duckling was swimming around like a champ, the chick started to drown. Lucky for him, the duckling had seen a few episodes of Walker: Texas Ranger, and knew exactly how to save him. Thank you, Chuck Norris. We ended the morning with the "Six Little Ducks" song. You know:
"Six little ducks
That I once knew.
Fat ones, skinny ones,
Fair ones, too.
But the one little duck
With the feather on his back,
He led the others
With a quack, quack, quack."
Even though it was all fun and games for the babies, I could totally see the hidden message behind the song. You see, the one with the feather on his back was the Leader Duck! He lead the whole group of them down to the river and back home and everything, sorta like the way our president and other puppet figureheads are leading us down the road to World War III! This is the kind of song that makes kids want to speak out and rebel against the tyranny of our false-democracy. So stand, fellow children of Reagan! Throw down your vacuous issues of Rolling Stone and green ketchup packets! Unplug your television and stop eating paste! March down to the principal's office and let him know: You're mad as hell, and you're not gonna take this anymore!!! Um,..I mean, I had a really great time at the library's storybook reading. Thank you.