SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING BLUE

My dad has this music that he likes to listen to. I like to listen to it when he is at work. The box says “Tom Waits” and it also says “Blue Valentine”. In school we made mailboxes for Valentine's Day, but they were red. I telled my friend Cindy that Tom Waits could beat up that dumb Justin guy in *NSYNC and she told the teacher on me. Mr. Caspeer got real mad and asked me who telled me about Tom Waits. I told Mr. Caspeer that everyone knows ol' Tom could beat up Justin anyday. He sended me to see Mr. Stemen, the principal. Mr. Stemen said to not tell other kids that Tom Waits could beat up Justin. I was real scared, but then he telled me I was right. I think that is super funny. I said, “Mr. Stemen, I will not tell that no more to any kids.” So if you are a kid, do not read some more of this. His songs make me feel real good. I like to dance to them. Tom sounds like a mean old man, but he is nice. This song “Kentucky Avenue” is about love and nice things. My mom is gone, so I can't steal a dollar from her purse, but I want to get my friend Anna a skull and crossbones ring. This other song says “Whistling Past the Graveyard”. It is a good dance song. Sometimes I eat too much Cap’n Crunch and then I dance fast. I think Mr. Caspeer got mad at me because there is a song that is called “Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis”. Dad said a hooker loves people who give them money. When mom lived with us dad gave her money all the time. Maybe my mom was a hooker and that's why she has to live at that house. This music is better than all the *NSYNC songs combined times infinity.