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22 December 2023
Rome, OH - Ernest Wertwiller, a longtime champion of loners and vagabonds, passed away yesterday. He was 74.
It is reported that he was tragically strangled when a device he was working on (a machine that simulates hugging) went haywire.
A self-proclaimed "melancholy scientist, as I never really get that mad," Wertwiller spent his life working for equal rights for the lonely. He was never able to pass any legislation, but he did accumulate an indifferent underground following on the east coast.
In 1986 ex-president Jimmy Carter burst out in laughter upon hearing proposed legislation to give misfits five extra sick days a year. Accepting failure, Wertwiller turned to a longtime passion: inventing. Some of his more popular inventions were the heated body pillow, which simulated snuggling, and the latex hand to hold on long walks.
"Some people don't readily fit into relationships, as they do not possess adequate social skills. People without legs get wheelchair ramps, but we get nothing. Our voices have gone unheard for too long. It is time for us to collectively shout out," said Wertwiller in a 2001 web conference for the National Loosely Defined Collective of Social Indifferents.
Wertwiller is survived by no one. Services will be held next Thursday at the Royal Garden Funeral Home at 3782 East Oliver St. Please RSVP at 432-8971, as caretakers are not expecting anybody to be there.
It is reported that he was tragically strangled when a device he was working on (a machine that simulates hugging) went haywire.
A self-proclaimed "melancholy scientist, as I never really get that mad," Wertwiller spent his life working for equal rights for the lonely. He was never able to pass any legislation, but he did accumulate an indifferent underground following on the east coast.
In 1986 ex-president Jimmy Carter burst out in laughter upon hearing proposed legislation to give misfits five extra sick days a year. Accepting failure, Wertwiller turned to a longtime passion: inventing. Some of his more popular inventions were the heated body pillow, which simulated snuggling, and the latex hand to hold on long walks.
"Some people don't readily fit into relationships, as they do not possess adequate social skills. People without legs get wheelchair ramps, but we get nothing. Our voices have gone unheard for too long. It is time for us to collectively shout out," said Wertwiller in a 2001 web conference for the National Loosely Defined Collective of Social Indifferents.
Wertwiller is survived by no one. Services will be held next Thursday at the Royal Garden Funeral Home at 3782 East Oliver St. Please RSVP at 432-8971, as caretakers are not expecting anybody to be there.
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issue
vol 4 - issue 10 (jun 2002)
section
stories