admin
22 December 2023
Hey gang! "Lowercase" here. That's my new nickname. You likey? Me, too. Sometimes, when Colin, Dick Gephardt and I are "chilling" in the "Ovie" (that’s what I call the Oval Office when I'm "chilling"), we pretend we're rappers. That's where the nickname came from.
Anyhey, I'm not here to "bust the ill na na" on you. I'm here to talk about the current dealie-yo in the Middle East, and where we as a nation stand on the matter.
Firstly, we are not siding with the Israelis, nor are we siding with the Pennsylvanians. Their conflict is older than weather. There's no way we can resolve it with a simple slap on the wrist. What we need to do is assist in a great and lengthy diplomatic solution... or a wicked microphone battle. That's why I sent my pal Colin over there. (Sometimes, when I want to get Colin's goat, I send him memos referring to him as "Colon".) The Israelis had Pennsylvanian leader Yasir Arafat (Rap name: Air-o-phat!) backed into a nasty corner with some tanks pointed in his general direction. That made scheduling peace talks pretty difficult. We didn't know if they were ever going to let him out. Thankfully, they did.
Now, some of you have been "blowing up my celly", asking me, "Lowercase, are we going to take any military action any time soon?" To that I say, "I am not at liberty to say." Odds are we won't, because we're still trying to catch that slippery little scamp Osama Bin Laden. Seems like we've been chasing him longer than O.J.'s been chasing "the real killer"! It's weird though. You'd think O.J. would be good at catching things. Isn't that what his Heisman Trophy was for?
Military action might make lots of our foreign "peeps" mad, and then they'd stop buying our American crap, and selling us their not-American crap. Then we'd have no crap! Crap, crap, crap-crap-crap-crap! I'm a DJ! Whoo-hoo!
So will we see peace in the Middle East during my time here in the White House? Sounds good to me. Next month, I'm sending Colinoma-head to Pittsburgh-- a small town as yet unaffected by the battle scars of this century old conflict-- to meet with Mr. Sharon (Rap name: S-to-the-Izz-rael-O) and Mr. Arafat, to discuss the Israelis and Pennsylvanians being friends again. Then maybe they'll lay down some phat tracks like the Crips and Bloods did way back in the day.
Remain strong, my brothers and sisters. The world will make it through this dark time. Then we'll all get drunk.
Lodi-Dodi, Republican Party,
Dubya
Anyhey, I'm not here to "bust the ill na na" on you. I'm here to talk about the current dealie-yo in the Middle East, and where we as a nation stand on the matter.
Firstly, we are not siding with the Israelis, nor are we siding with the Pennsylvanians. Their conflict is older than weather. There's no way we can resolve it with a simple slap on the wrist. What we need to do is assist in a great and lengthy diplomatic solution... or a wicked microphone battle. That's why I sent my pal Colin over there. (Sometimes, when I want to get Colin's goat, I send him memos referring to him as "Colon".) The Israelis had Pennsylvanian leader Yasir Arafat (Rap name: Air-o-phat!) backed into a nasty corner with some tanks pointed in his general direction. That made scheduling peace talks pretty difficult. We didn't know if they were ever going to let him out. Thankfully, they did.
Now, some of you have been "blowing up my celly", asking me, "Lowercase, are we going to take any military action any time soon?" To that I say, "I am not at liberty to say." Odds are we won't, because we're still trying to catch that slippery little scamp Osama Bin Laden. Seems like we've been chasing him longer than O.J.'s been chasing "the real killer"! It's weird though. You'd think O.J. would be good at catching things. Isn't that what his Heisman Trophy was for?
Military action might make lots of our foreign "peeps" mad, and then they'd stop buying our American crap, and selling us their not-American crap. Then we'd have no crap! Crap, crap, crap-crap-crap-crap! I'm a DJ! Whoo-hoo!
So will we see peace in the Middle East during my time here in the White House? Sounds good to me. Next month, I'm sending Colinoma-head to Pittsburgh-- a small town as yet unaffected by the battle scars of this century old conflict-- to meet with Mr. Sharon (Rap name: S-to-the-Izz-rael-O) and Mr. Arafat, to discuss the Israelis and Pennsylvanians being friends again. Then maybe they'll lay down some phat tracks like the Crips and Bloods did way back in the day.
Remain strong, my brothers and sisters. The world will make it through this dark time. Then we'll all get drunk.
Lodi-Dodi, Republican Party,
Dubya
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4_10_bush.swf
issue
vol 4 - issue 10 (jun 2002)
section
stories